BAND 8.0 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: WRITING A COMPLAINT LETTER FOR DAMAGED PACKAGE TO COURIER COMPANY

Explore our Band 8.0 IELTS essay sample on experiencing a disappointing courier service. Read how Max Sullivan addresses the issue of his damaged antiques and paintings, demanding an explanation and compensation. Ideal for IELTS aspirants looking for top-tier writing examples.

Writing Task

You recently received a large package by courier at your home. Unfortunately, the package was damaged when it arrived, and some of the contents were broken. Write a letter to the courier company. In your letter: - Describe the package and the damage that occurred - Explain the effects the damage had on the contents - Request appropriate compensation for the damaged items

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 6.5 Scoring and Feedback

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this epistle in order to express my utmost disappointment and inconvenience caused after using your esteemed courier company for transporting my valuables abroad. Highlighting the scenario, last week I booked your company's service to transport my significant items from India to Canada. The order included 2 massive cartons almost weighing 20 kg each and consisted of paintings and antiques from my dear collection. To my absolute horror, once the courier arrived it was in a total mess. It was completely crushed and there was no proper protective layer applied to it. As you can imagine, the contents inside were completely destroyed. My antique vase was shattered to bits and pieces along with the paintings being completely ruined and useless. It is unexpectable from a reputed company like yours and I absolutely demand an explanation regarding this mishap. Apart from this, I want monetary compensation for my loss within the next 3 days or I will lodge a complaint against you. Eagerly waiting for your reply. Yours faithfully, Max Sullivan
Words: 176Paragraphs: 2
Submitted: 7/13/2023, 01:01 PM

Coherence And Cohesion6.0

The letter demonstrates a logical progression of ideas and is generally cohesive, with clear paragraphing and linking words. However, there are areas where the connections between ideas could be made more explicit to enhance clarity and flow.

Recommendations:

  • Consider using referencing words (e.g., 'this', 'these', 'such') to refer back to previously mentioned ideas for improved coherence.
  • Ensure each paragraph is clearly focused on a single aspect of the prompt (e.g., description, effects, compensation) to improve logical flow.
  • Use more varied linking words and phrases to smoothly connect sentences and ideas, such as 'Furthermore', 'In addition', or 'Consequently' to enhance cohesion.

Lexical Resource7.0

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with some advanced expressions, such as 'utmost disappointment,' 'esteemed courier company,' and 'monetary compensation.' However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect word choices that affect clarity and precision. For example, 'epistle' is a formal and somewhat archaic term for 'letter,' which may not be the best fit for this context. Additionally, 'unexpectable' is not a standard English word; 'unacceptable' would be more appropriate.

Recommendations:

  • Replace 'epistle' with 'letter' to match the tone and context of the letter.
  • Consider using 'reputable' instead of 'esteemed' for a more precise description of the company.
  • Use 'unacceptable' instead of 'unexpectable' to correct the vocabulary error.

Grammatical Range6.0

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and varied sentence types, but contains several grammatical inaccuracies.

Recommendations:

  • Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, as seen in 'It is unexpectable from a reputed company like yours,' which should be 'It is unexpected from a reputed company like yours.'
  • Ensure correct use of articles, such as 'a total mess,' could be more precise with 'in total disarray.'
  • Review the use of prepositions, for instance, 'to transport my valuables abroad' could be more precise as 'to transport my valuables overseas.'

Task Achievement6.0

The letter addresses the task prompt by describing the package, the damage, and requesting compensation. However, the details could be more specific, particularly regarding the description of the package and the effects of the damage.

Recommendations:

  • Clarify the compensation request by specifying the amount or type of compensation desired, which would strengthen the request.
  • Provide more specific details about the package, such as its dimensions, the materials used for packaging, and any labels or markings that were present.
  • Elaborate on the effects of the damage by specifying the extent to which each item was damaged and how this impacts their value or usability.
GRADED
6.5
Coherence and Cohesion:6.0
Lexical Resource:7.0
Grammatical Range:6.0
Task Achievement:6.0
Band Score:6.5
Coherence and Cohesion6
Logical structure6
Introduction & conclusion present6
Supported main points6
Accurate linking words6
Variety in linking words6
Lexical Resource7
Varied vocabulary7
Accurate spelling & word formation7
Grammatical Range6
Mix of complex & simple sentences6
Clear and correct grammar6
Task Achievement6
Complete response6
Clear & comprehensive ideas6
Relevant & specific examples6
Appropriate word count6
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