BAND 7.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: WRITING A COMPLAINT LETTER FOR UNSATISFACTORY ONLINE PRODUCT

Explore our IELTS essay sample scored at band 7.5. Read about customer dissatisfaction related to online shopping experiences. Learn how to effectively express disappointment and seek resolution in a formal letter. Perfect study material for those preparing for IELTS writing tasks.

Writing Task

You have recently purchased a product online, but after receiving the product, you found that it was not up to your expectations. Write a letter to the online store manager, describing the product you ordered, explaining why you are dissatisfied, and stating what actions you would like them to take.

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 6.5 Scoring and Feedback

Dear Sir, I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the services provided by your company. I recently placed an order for a black party dress on your shopping site on 30th December 2018. Although the maximum time of delivery in your company is 7 days, I received it after 10 days. The moment I unwrapped the courier, I was shocked to find a casual dress instead of a party dress. Moreover, the colour and dress material were different. You can imagine how unpleasant it was to receive wrong delivery of your much awaited product. Since, I have to wear this dress in my friend’s birthday party, I immediately contacted your company I spoke to the customer care executive and asked for the exchange. To my surprise, he refused to exchange the product. Given the fact that I am a regular customer of your company, it was a very disappointing experience. I insist you to urgently look into this matter. You can either exchange the dress or return the money, otherwise, I will be forced to go to the consumer court. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours Faithfully Kate
Words: 191Paragraphs: 8
Submitted: 7/21/2023, 11:07 PM

Coherence And Cohesion6.0

The essay demonstrates a logical progression of ideas and maintains a clear structure, with distinct sections addressing the task requirements. However, there are areas where coherence and cohesion could be improved, particularly in the use of linking words and the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

Recommendations:

  • Consider using more varied cohesive devices to connect ideas within sentences, such as 'however', 'furthermore', and 'in addition' to enhance the flow.
  • Ensure that linking words and phrases are used consistently to guide the reader through the text. For example, using 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'Finally' can help structure the paragraphs more clearly.
  • Improve paragraph transitions by ensuring each paragraph logically follows from the previous one. For example, connect the paragraph about the delivery delay more smoothly to the paragraph about the wrong product received.

Lexical Resource6.0

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary suitable for the task, with some effective use of less common words and expressions. However, there are instances of incorrect word choice and repetitive language that could be improved to enhance clarity and precision.

Recommendations:

  • Ensure correct word choice and collocations, such as 'I insist you to urgently look into this matter' which should be 'I urge you to look into this matter urgently.'
  • Expand the range of vocabulary to include more precise and varied expressions, especially when describing dissatisfaction and the actions required.
  • Avoid repetition of words like 'dress' by using synonyms or rephrasing sentences to maintain reader interest and demonstrate lexical flexibility.

Grammatical Range6.0

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and varied sentence forms, though there are some errors in verb tense consistency and punctuation that affect clarity.

Recommendations:

  • Use a wider variety of sentence structures, such as conditional sentences, to add complexity and demonstrate a broader grammatical range.
  • Ensure verb tenses are consistent throughout the letter, especially when describing past events, to maintain clarity and coherence.
  • Improve punctuation by removing unnecessary commas, such as in 'Since, I have to wear this dress...' to enhance sentence flow.

Task Achievement7.0

The essay addresses the task prompt by clearly describing the product ordered, explaining the dissatisfaction, and stating the desired actions from the online store manager. It provides specific details about the order, the issues encountered, and the requested resolution.

Recommendations:

  • Provide a more structured request for action, such as specifying a deadline for the response or resolution, to strengthen the request.
  • Include more specific details about the product, such as the brand or model, to enhance clarity and context.
  • Expand on the explanation of dissatisfaction by adding more details about the differences in the dress material and color.
GRADED
6.5
Coherence and Cohesion:6.0
Lexical Resource:6.0
Grammatical Range:6.0
Task Achievement:7.0
Band Score:6.5
Coherence and Cohesion6
Logical structure6
Introduction & conclusion present6
Supported main points6
Accurate linking words6
Variety in linking words6
Lexical Resource6
Varied vocabulary6
Accurate spelling & word formation6
Grammatical Range6
Mix of complex & simple sentences6
Clear and correct grammar6
Task Achievement7
Complete response7
Clear & comprehensive ideas7
Relevant & specific examples7
Appropriate word count7
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