BAND 7.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: WRITING COMPLAINT LETTER TO HOTEL MANAGER | DISSATISFIED HOTEL STAY EXPERIENCE

Browse through our sample of a band 7.5 score IELTS essay detailing a disappointing hotel stay experience. Explore the use of English language to express dissatisfaction, request a refund, and suggest improvements for attracting more tourists.

Writing Task

You recently attended a conference in a different city and stayed at a hotel during your visit. The hotel's services and facilities did not meet your expectations, and you faced some issues during your stay. Write a letter to the hotel manager to express your dissatisfaction. In your letter, include: - The dates of your stay and your booking details - The problems you encountered during your stay - What actions you would like the hotel to take to address the issues

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 6.0 Scoring and Feedback

Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to express my disappointment about staying in your hotel. I stayed there for 3 days and 2 nights from 9th of July to 11th of July for a meeting and I had a number of problems there. For example, at first night our internet Wi-Fi has disconnected suddenly and your staffs did not pay any attention to our request. Another problem was that the hotel breakfast buffet was extremely awful because we could not find any drinkable juice or anything for vegetarian diet. As a paying guest, I expect a certain level of service, and I am disappointed that my expectations were not met during my stay. So, I would like to request a refund for the difficulties I encountered during my stay. I hope that this matter can be resolved promptly, and hotel improve its service in the near future that leads to attract more tourist to your place. Thank you for your attention to this matter. Sincerely, Ayda Asghari
Words: 166Paragraphs: 3
Submitted: 7/19/2023, 01:58 PM

Coherence And Cohesion6.0

The essay maintains a clear structure, with a logical flow from the introduction to the conclusion. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother, and more cohesive devices could be used to enhance the connection between sentences and paragraphs.

Recommendations:

  • Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea, and maintain a consistent tone throughout the letter for better cohesion.
  • Use more cohesive devices such as 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' to clearly delineate different points or problems encountered during the stay.
  • Improve transitions between paragraphs by using linking words or phrases like 'moreover', 'in addition', or 'furthermore' to enhance the flow of ideas.

Lexical Resource6.0

The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary with some attempts at more complex expressions. However, there are noticeable repetitions and some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation.

Recommendations:

  • Expand your vocabulary by learning synonyms and using them to avoid repetition, such as using 'staff members' instead of 'staffs'.
  • Improve word choice accuracy by learning common collocations, such as 'internet connection' instead of 'internet Wi-Fi'.
  • Incorporate more varied and precise vocabulary related to hotel services and complaints to enhance clarity and impact.

Grammatical Range5.0

The essay demonstrates a basic level of grammatical range with correct usage of simple sentence structures. However, there is limited use of complex sentence structures, and some grammatical errors are present.

Recommendations:

  • Correct minor errors such as 'our internet Wi-Fi has disconnected' to 'our internet Wi-Fi disconnected' as the past simple tense is more appropriate in this context.
  • Incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences, to enhance grammatical range.
  • Pay attention to subject-verb agreement issues, as seen in 'your staffs did not pay any attention'. 'Staff' is typically an uncountable noun, so it should be 'your staff did not pay any attention'.
  • Ensure consistency in tense usage throughout the letter to maintain clarity and coherence.

Task Achievement6.0

The letter adequately addresses the task prompt by including the dates of stay, booking details, encountered problems, and a request for action. The writer clearly outlines the issues faced during the stay and suggests a resolution.

Recommendations:

  • Clarify what specific improvements the hotel should implement to prevent future issues, offering constructive feedback.
  • Provide more specific details about the booking, such as a reservation number, to enhance clarity and credibility.
  • Expand on the problems encountered to give a fuller picture of the dissatisfaction, such as describing how the Wi-Fi issue affected the stay or providing more details about the breakfast buffet.
GRADED
6.0
Coherence and Cohesion:6.0
Lexical Resource:6.0
Grammatical Range:5.0
Task Achievement:6.0
Band Score:6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6
Logical structure6
Introduction & conclusion present6
Supported main points6
Accurate linking words6
Variety in linking words6
Lexical Resource6
Varied vocabulary6
Accurate spelling & word formation6
Grammatical Range5
Mix of complex & simple sentences5
Clear and correct grammar5
Task Achievement6
Complete response6
Clear & comprehensive ideas6
Relevant & specific examples6
Appropriate word count6
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