BAND 7.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: UNPROFESSIONAL JOB INTERVIEW EXPERIENCE & SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT

Explore our Band 7.5 IELTS essay sample written by Abi addressing her interview experience at ABC Corp. Get insights into the interview process, learn about the importance of role-specific questions, and discover helpful suggestions for interview improvements. Ideal for IELTS candidates and HR professionals alike.

Writing Task

You recently attended a job interview for a position you were excited about. However, you believe that the interviewer was unprofessional and the process was unfair. Write a letter to the company's manager to express your concerns. In your letter: - Describe the job interview and the position you applied for - Explain why you think the interviewer was unprofessional - Suggest what can be done to improve the interview process in the future

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 6.0 Scoring and Feedback

Dear ABC Corp Manager, I am Abi who has applied for the Product Manager position at ABC Corp last month. I was hesitating to report the experience that I had during the interview but finally I have courage to express myself so that I can help the futures candidates to have better experience with your company. Mr Jacob interviewed me on 14 JULY 2022, He asked me things beyond the scope of the role and that's ok but he didn't ask me anything related to the job position role that I have applied at your company. When I ask question him about it then he reacted very badly with me and said that he is the interviewer and it's up to him what he should ask to the candidate. It was really unprofessional behavior as I also have 20 years of industry experience also I have interviewed hundreds of candidates but I have never behaved that rude with anyone. You might be wondering what went wrong during the interview, Please have a look at the points mentioned below 1. He shouted on me as I questioned him 2. He didn't allow me to share my opinion on interview process Here is my suggestion to improve the interview process 1. Please set the guidelines for interviewer that he must ask questions based on the role that candidate have applied at the company, definitely he can ask the question beyond the scope of interview but he/she must make sure that interview question based on the role has been covered. 2. The interview should also give a chance to candidate to express his point of view and respond to him respectfully for any feedback
Words: 281Paragraphs: 5
Submitted: 7/14/2023, 01:27 PM

Coherence And Cohesion6.0

The letter presents a clear structure with an introduction, a description of the interview experience, reasons for considering the interview unprofessional, and suggestions for improvement. However, the coherence and cohesion could be enhanced by improving the logical flow and connection between ideas.

Recommendations:

  • Use consistent tense and pronouns to maintain clarity and coherence throughout the letter.
  • Improve the transition between the description of the interview and the explanation of why it was unprofessional by summarizing the main issue before listing the detailed points.
  • Use linking words and phrases to connect sentences and ideas more clearly, such as 'Firstly,' 'Additionally,' 'Furthermore,' or 'In conclusion' to guide the reader through your points.
  • Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to improve clarity and flow. For example, separate the description of the interview from the explanation of why it was unprofessional.

Lexical Resource6.0

The essay uses a range of vocabulary related to the interview process, such as 'unprofessional', 'interviewer', 'candidate', and 'guidelines'. However, there are some inaccuracies and repetitive phrases that affect the clarity and precision of the message.

Recommendations:

  • Incorporate more precise adjectives and adverbs to convey your points more effectively, such as 'inappropriate' instead of 'badly', to describe the interviewer's reaction.
  • Expand your vocabulary by using synonyms and varying word choices to avoid repetition and enhance clarity. For example, instead of repeating 'interview', use terms like 'meeting' or 'discussion' where appropriate.
  • Ensure accurate use of words and phrases. For instance, replace 'shouted on me' with 'shouted at me' for correct usage.

Grammatical Range5.5

The essay demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures with some errors in sentence formation, punctuation, and verb tense. The writer uses mostly simple and compound sentences, with limited complex structures.

Recommendations:

  • Review the use of articles ('a', 'an', 'the') to ensure they are used appropriately.
  • Work on varying sentence structures by incorporating more complex sentences to enhance grammatical range.
  • Improve punctuation use, especially in separating independent clauses and using commas correctly.
  • Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency throughout the essay.

Task Achievement6.0

The letter addresses the task prompt by describing the interview, explaining why the interviewer was unprofessional, and suggesting improvements. However, it lacks specific details about the job position and the interview setting, which could enhance clarity and persuasiveness.

Recommendations:

  • Conclude the letter with a clear call to action or request for a response to ensure the letter achieves its purpose.
  • Provide more specific details about the Product Manager position and the interview context to strengthen the description and make the letter more engaging.
  • Include a more detailed explanation of why the interviewer's behavior was unprofessional, possibly by comparing it with standard professional conduct in interviews.
  • Ensure that each point clearly relates to the task prompt to maintain focus on the task requirements. For example, explicitly state how the interview questions were inappropriate for the role.
GRADED
6.0
Coherence and Cohesion:6.0
Lexical Resource:6.0
Grammatical Range:5.5
Task Achievement:6.0
Band Score:6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6
Logical structure6
Introduction & conclusion present6
Supported main points6
Accurate linking words6
Variety in linking words6
Lexical Resource6
Varied vocabulary6
Accurate spelling & word formation6
Grammatical Range5.5
Mix of complex & simple sentences6
Clear and correct grammar5
Task Achievement6
Complete response6
Clear & comprehensive ideas6
Relevant & specific examples6
Appropriate word count6
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