BAND 5.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: WRITING APPRECIATION FOR GUEST SPEAKER AT CONFERENCE | IMPROVE IELTS SKILLS

Explore a sample Band 5.5 IELTS essay from an exhibition attendee in Kuala Lumpur. Absorb insights into technology innovations showcased by 300+ companies and individual innovators. Ideal reading for IELTS candidates and tech enthusiasts alike.

Writing Task

You recently attended a conference and were impressed by the guest speaker. Write a letter to the event organizer to express your appreciation for the conference and, specifically, the guest speaker. In your letter: - Explain why you are writing the letter - Describe the impact of the guest speaker's presentation on you - Make suggestions for future conferences

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 4.5 Scoring and Feedback

Dear Sir, I'm expressing my gratitude and utmost appreciation for inviting me to this exhibition that have held in one of the most beautiful city on earth, Kuala Lumpur. This conference is the biggest event in the city. Many innovations and new technologies have been exhibited in here, showcasing their vision over the future tech might come the nearest. This exhibition has accommodated more than 300 big companies and brilliant individuals. I was lucky enough to invited to attend in this exhibition that have been a major event over the past many years. Innovation is not coming easily, and it's required a lot of dedication to learn, improvise, creativity, and hard work in order to gain the best technology that will be utilized by many people. I have been attended many exhibitions and conferences that exhibit to cumulate many brilliant innovators. I really hope that this event will be held much bigger and stronger than this in the future, as innovation is very important for the young generation and for the country.
Words: 172Paragraphs: 2
Submitted: 7/16/2023, 01:33 PM

Coherence And Cohesion5.0

The essay lacks clear organization and logical progression of ideas, which affects the coherence and cohesion. The writer does not clearly separate the different parts of the task, leading to a confusing flow of information. There is a lack of clear paragraphing, which makes it difficult for the reader to follow the writer's train of thought.

Recommendations:

  • Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas and sentences more effectively, enhancing the logical flow of the letter.
  • Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through the main idea of that paragraph.
  • Use clear paragraphing to separate the explanation of why you are writing, the impact of the guest speaker, and suggestions for future conferences.

Lexical Resource5.0

The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but there are noticeable issues with word choice, collocations, and some repetition. There are attempts to use less common lexical items, but they are not always used accurately or appropriately.

Recommendations:

  • Incorporate more precise language to express ideas clearly, such as using 'attended' instead of 'have been attended' and 'invited' instead of 'to invited.'
  • Improve word choice by learning more about collocations and context-appropriate vocabulary, such as replacing 'have held' with 'was held' and 'have been exhibited in here' with 'were exhibited here'.
  • Avoid repetition of words and phrases, for example, the repeated use of 'exhibition' and 'innovation.' Use synonyms or rephrase sentences to enhance lexical variety.

Grammatical Range4.0

The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures with frequent errors in subject-verb agreement, verb tense, and sentence structure. These errors often impede the clarity of the message.

Recommendations:

  • Improve sentence structure by breaking down overly complex sentences into simpler ones to avoid confusion, e.g., 'Innovation is not coming easily, and it's required a lot of dedication to learn, improvise, creativity, and hard work' can be improved by restructuring.
  • Expand the range of grammatical structures by incorporating more complex sentences and conditional forms, which can help convey more nuanced ideas.
  • Review subject-verb agreement rules, especially in complex sentences such as 'this exhibition that have held' which should be 'this exhibition that was held.'
  • Practice using consistent verb tenses within sentences to improve clarity, for instance, 'I have been attended' should be 'I have attended.'

Task Achievement4.0

The essay does not fully achieve the task requirements as it fails to explicitly address the prompt components: expressing specific appreciation for the guest speaker, detailing the impact of the speaker's presentation, and making clear suggestions for future conferences.

Recommendations:

  • Ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed to demonstrate a complete understanding of the task.
  • Explicitly state the purpose of the letter, which is to express appreciation for the guest speaker, not just the event.
  • Include specific details about how the guest speaker's presentation impacted you personally or professionally.
  • Provide clear and specific suggestions for future conferences, such as topics to cover or improvements to make.
GRADED
4.5
Coherence and Cohesion:5.0
Lexical Resource:5.0
Grammatical Range:4.0
Task Achievement:4.0
Band Score:4.5
Coherence and Cohesion5
Logical structure5
Introduction & conclusion present5
Supported main points5
Accurate linking words5
Variety in linking words5
Lexical Resource5
Varied vocabulary5
Accurate spelling & word formation5
Grammatical Range4
Mix of complex & simple sentences4
Clear and correct grammar4
Task Achievement4
Complete response4
Clear & comprehensive ideas4
Relevant & specific examples4
Appropriate word count5
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