BAND 7.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: FUNDING FOR PUBLIC SERVICES VS ARTS - A COMPARATIVE DISCUSSION
Explore a band 7.5 IELTS essay sample discussing the importance of government funding in public services and arts. Learn how prioritizing education, healthcare, and cultural activities influences residents' life quality and city attractiveness to tourists. Balance in funding: the key to societal improvement?
Writing Task
Some people believe that the government should prioritize funding for public services, such as healthcare and education, while others think that funding for the arts and cultural activities is equally important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 7.0 Scoring and Feedback
Whilst there are some people who hold a strong belief that public services should be where the government prioritizes their funding because these are what make the residents' environment better, I believe that funding for the arts and cultural activities is just as necessary.
On the one hand, it's true that public services, such as healthcare and education need a large amount of funding from the government. This is due to the demand for new equipment, especially in places like schools and hospitals where facilities need to be replaced frequently due to technological development. And prioritizing funding for such places will certainly bring about enormous benefits for the residents. For example, a child with both of his or her parents work near a school with up-to-date facilities will definitely have an easier time going to school.
On the other hand, arts and cultural activities also need a massive amount of funding from the government. The reason is that these fields serve both as the entertainment for city's residents and as attractions to attract tourists to the city. Without the entertainment needed, people will always feel like they are under pressure, which leads to lower efficiency in their work. And without any cultural attractions, the source of money from tourists will be greatly decreased. I totally agree that the funding for the arts and cultural activities is no less important compare to that for public services.
In conclusion, while there are people who believe that the government should pour all their funding into public services for the residents' benefits, I believe that the funding for the arts and cultural activities is equally important.
Words: 272|Paragraphs: 1
Submitted: 7/15/2023, 02:25 PM
Coherence And Cohesion7.0
Lexical Resource7.0
Grammatical Range7.0
Task Achievement7.0
GRADED
7.0
Coherence and Cohesion:How well the essay is organized and how well ideas are connected throughout.7.0
Lexical Resource:The range of vocabulary used and how accurately and appropriately it is used.7.0
Grammatical Range:The range and accurate use of grammar structures.7.0
Task Achievement:How well the essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a fully developed response.7.0
Band Score:7.0
Coherence and Cohesion7
Logical structure7
Introduction & conclusion present7
Supported main points7
Accurate linking words7
Variety in linking words7
Lexical Resource7
Varied vocabulary7
Accurate spelling & word formation7
Grammatical Range7
Mix of complex & simple sentences7
Clear and correct grammar7
Task Achievement7
Complete response7
Clear & comprehensive ideas7
Relevant & specific examples7
Appropriate word count7