BAND 6.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: PUBLIC SERVICES VS ARTS FUNDING - A COMPARATIVE ANALYSIS AND DISCUSSION
Discover our band 6.5 IELTS essay sample discussing the priority of budget allocation between public sectors such as healthcare, education, and cultural matters. Explore the importance of preserving cultural identity and the impact of budgeting on societal health and literacy rates.
Writing Task
Some people believe that the government should prioritize funding for public services, such as healthcare and education, while others think that funding for the arts and cultural activities is equally important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 6.0 Scoring and Feedback
There are different view about whether governments invest in public sectors, including healthcare or education,or cultural matters and arts.While i believe that both of these sectors should be regarded in terms of budgeting,healthcare and education should be prioritized in terms of allocating budgets.
people who advocate that states should be as attentive on areas like arts and cultural activities as tothers like education and healthcare ,focus on the importance of the role of these sectors in preservation of the cultural identity and heritage of a society .If governments allocate finance to maintain cultural identity and arts which is in close connection with the collective identity of a nation,they could conserve the customs and traditions belonging to their society.for example,without budgeting on traditional festivals,our cultural heritage would be disappeared.
On the other hand,i believe that budgeting on education and healthcare is more pivotal,and goverments should pay more attention to it in terms of funding.firstly, if the public benefit from more facilities in healthcare sector,the entire society would be more healthy,thus,more productive to help thrive their community around them.furthermore,allocating budget to education and more free schooling,leads to more literacy rate in underprivileged who could not afford the expenses in private educational environments.For example,I know a large variety of deprived teenagers who could reach good career prospects with the taking the advantages of attending public schools which were well equipped and prosperous.
in conclusion,while arts and healthcare have crucial parts to play,i believe that healthcare and education are more paramount in terms of financial budgeting.
Words: 252|Paragraphs: 4
Submitted: 7/20/2023, 05:17 AM
Coherence And Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource6.0
Grammatical Range5.0
Task Achievement6.0
GRADED
6.0
Coherence and Cohesion:How well the essay is organized and how well ideas are connected throughout.6.0
Lexical Resource:The range of vocabulary used and how accurately and appropriately it is used.6.0
Grammatical Range:The range and accurate use of grammar structures.5.0
Task Achievement:How well the essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a fully developed response.6.0
Band Score:6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6
Logical structure6
Introduction & conclusion present6
Supported main points6
Accurate linking words6
Variety in linking words6
Lexical Resource6
Varied vocabulary6
Accurate spelling & word formation6
Grammatical Range5
Mix of complex & simple sentences5
Clear and correct grammar5
Task Achievement6
Complete response6
Clear & comprehensive ideas6
Relevant & specific examples6
Appropriate word count6