BAND 5.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: COMPARING CHILDHOOD IN COUNTRYSIDE VS BIG CITY - DISCUSSING VIEWS & OPINIONS
Explore the impact of children's environment on their growth through this Band 5.5 IELTS essay. Analyze the pros and cons of growing up in the countryside versus metropolitan areas, including education quality, outdoor activities, and health concerns. Discover how online education levels the playing field and why countryside might be a better option today.
Writing Task
Some people believe that it is better for children to grow up in the countryside rather than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 6.0 Scoring and Feedback
The invironment the children grow up has a great impact on their life. Many consider grwing up in the country side as a better option compared to metropolicians. While there are some plus ponts growing up in both invironments, I agree that the countryside would be more beneficial.
Firstly, leaving in a big city is being considered as a great opportunity for children as they are mostly being thought by newest methods and high technology. Moreovere, most of well rounded teachers are in these cities. However, children in contryside have less access to such educational facilities and ptofessional teachers. Hence, children sho reside in big cities are probably more susceptible to become well educated adult with higher degrees.
Having said that, being more fields and playgrounds or yards in suburbs, it is more probable for children in these areas to have outdoor activities. These activities at the fresh air of the contryside is extremely beneficial for children’s wellbeing compared to the polluted invoironment of the cities where children mostly play indoor with their cellphones or computers. As a result, children in suburban areas are more probable to become halthy individuals.
In my opinion, nurturing children in contryside is a better option nowadays. Since the online courses are becoming more available with high quality to all children, almost all children have equal apportunity to educate properly. In addition, the environment of megacities is becoming more and more polluted and hazardous for children.
In conclusion, while leaving city could have been educationaly more profitable for the children, this is no longer a difference thanks to online technology. However, becoming physically more healthy thaks to the clean evironment and outdoor activities in the suburban areas, i agree that it is better for children to grow up in such places.
Words: 296|Paragraphs: 5
Submitted: 7/18/2023, 08:58 AM
Coherence And Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource6.0
Grammatical Range5.0
Task Achievement6.0
GRADED
6.0
Coherence and Cohesion:How well the essay is organized and how well ideas are connected throughout.6.0
Lexical Resource:The range of vocabulary used and how accurately and appropriately it is used.6.0
Grammatical Range:The range and accurate use of grammar structures.5.0
Task Achievement:How well the essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a fully developed response.6.0
Band Score:6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6
Logical structure6
Introduction & conclusion present6
Supported main points6
Accurate linking words6
Variety in linking words6
Lexical Resource6
Varied vocabulary6
Accurate spelling & word formation5
Grammatical Range5
Mix of complex & simple sentences5
Clear and correct grammar5
Task Achievement6
Complete response6
Clear & comprehensive ideas6
Relevant & specific examples6
Appropriate word count6