Help us improve!Share your feedback and help make IELTS CHAMP better for everyone.

Leave Feedback

BAND 6.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: IMPACT OF TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCEMENTS ON INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION & SOCIAL INTERACTION

Explore our comprehensive Band 6.5 IELTS essay sample discussing the pros and cons of technology. Learn how technology affects daily life, simplifies communication, and impacts personal development. Get insights on managing technology addiction and maintaining a balanced life.

Writing Task

Some people believe that technological advancements have negatively impacted the interpersonal communication skills and social interactions among individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view? Give reasons for your answer, including examples from your own experience or knowledge.

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 5.5 Scoring and Feedback

In my opinion, technology isnot something good or bad. It can have different aspects depending on how we use it. On one side it is obvious that it affects our daily life completely. Obviously most of people around the world cannot live without these new methods of communicating. The range of use is different from emails and social media upto online businesses or shopping. Clearly this kind of technology has made the life easier. You can access to anything just by some clicks or touching keyboard of your cellphone or laptop just in some seconds. No need to write a letter and posting it and waiting to recieve the answer few months later. Thus it is one of the advantages of technology . On the otherhand , addicting to these technologies isnot a good thing like any other addiction. If your dependency is too much , it can be an alarm to review your policy in life. We should know we have a limited time in our life time. There are many things to do . There are many thing to learn and experience. We should accept that time is flying . Therefore it is necessary to pay attention to our priorities in life. I think if we believe in growth and personal development, wether or not we choose the best way to spend our time. It means we take action according to a balanced plan. We use technolgy in a reasonable way and in such a way to not hurm our relationships and other aspects of life.
Words: 258Paragraphs: 1
Submitted: 7/17/2023, 05:40 PM

Coherence And Cohesion5.5

The essay presents a general viewpoint on the impact of technology on interpersonal communication, but lacks clear organization and logical progression of ideas. It does not effectively use cohesive devices to connect ideas and paragraphs.

Recommendations:

  • Use more cohesive devices such as 'however', 'furthermore', and 'for example' to clearly connect and transition between ideas and paragraphs.
  • Ensure each paragraph logically follows from the previous one to enhance the flow of the essay.
  • Clarify the stance on the prompt in the introduction and ensure it is consistently reflected throughout the essay.
  • Develop a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea related to the prompt.

Lexical Resource5.5

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary related to technology and its impact on communication, such as 'methods of communicating', 'online businesses', and 'dependency'. However, there are noticeable spelling errors and some misuse of words that affect clarity and precision.

Recommendations:

  • Ensure accurate spelling of words such as 'isnot', 'upto', 'recieve', 'otherhand', 'isnot', 'wether', 'technolgy', and 'hurm'. These errors can detract from the overall impression of language proficiency.
  • Expand the range of vocabulary by incorporating more varied and precise lexical items to describe technological impacts and interpersonal skills. For example, use terms like 'digital communication', 'interpersonal dynamics', or 'social connectivity'.
  • Use more complex and varied sentence structures to incorporate advanced vocabulary naturally into your writing.
  • Work on collocation and word choice to improve naturalness and precision. For instance, instead of 'access to anything just by some clicks', you could say 'access a wide range of information with just a few clicks'.

Grammatical Range5.5

The essay demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures with frequent errors in punctuation, verb forms, and sentence structure that affect clarity and coherence.

Recommendations:

  • Improve sentence structure by avoiding run-on sentences. For instance, 'Clearly this kind of technology has made the life easier. You can access to anything just by some clicks or touching keyboard of your cellphone or laptop just in some seconds.' could be split into clearer, more concise sentences.
  • Use articles correctly. For example, 'access to anything,' should be 'access anything,' and 'posting it and waiting to recieve the answer few months later' should be 'posting it and waiting to receive an answer a few months later.'
  • Use a variety of complex sentences to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures. For instance, instead of 'We should know we have a limited time in our life time,' try 'We should acknowledge that our lifetime is limited, which necessitates prioritizing our activities.'
  • Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, for example, in sentences like 'most of people around the world cannot live without these new methods of communicating,' it should be 'most people.'
  • Correct spelling errors such as 'recieve' (receive), 'upto' (up to), 'isnot' (is not), and 'wether' (whether).

Task Achievement6.0

The essay presents a position on the impact of technology on interpersonal communication, suggesting that while technology offers convenience, it can also lead to negative dependencies. However, the response lacks a clear stance on whether the writer agrees or disagrees with the prompt's statement, and the argument is not fully developed.

Recommendations:

  • Conclude with a summary that reinforces your position and the main points discussed in the essay.
  • Provide specific examples that illustrate how technology impacts interpersonal communication skills, both positively and negatively.
  • Ensure that each paragraph directly addresses the task prompt and contributes to developing your argument.
  • Clearly state your position on whether you agree or disagree with the statement in the introduction.
GRADED
5.5
Coherence and Cohesion:5.5
Lexical Resource:5.5
Grammatical Range:5.5
Task Achievement:6.0
Band Score:5.5
Coherence and Cohesion5.5
Logical structure5
Introduction & conclusion present6
Supported main points5
Accurate linking words6
Variety in linking words5
Lexical Resource5.5
Varied vocabulary5
Accurate spelling & word formation6
Grammatical Range5.5
Mix of complex & simple sentences6
Clear and correct grammar5
Task Achievement6
Complete response6
Clear & comprehensive ideas6
Relevant & specific examples6
Appropriate word count6
Grade Your Essay