Help us improve!Share your feedback and help make IELTS CHAMP better for everyone.

Leave Feedback

BAND 6.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: EXPLORING SOLUTIONS TO TRAFFIC CONGESTION IN GLOBAL CITIES

Explore the comprehensive analysis of traffic congestion issues in mega cities in this Band 6.5 IELTS essay sample. Discover various strategies to reduce traffic, from infrastructure upgrades to promoting public transport use and stricter regulations. Learn about the societal changes necessary for effective traffic management.

Writing Task

In many cities around the world, traffic congestion has become a significant issue, causing problems for both residents and the environment. Some people argue that the solution is to widen existing roads and build new ones, while others believe that alternative measures should be taken to tackle this problem. Discuss both views and give your own opinion on how to effectively alleviate traffic congestion in modern cities.

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 5.5 Scoring and Feedback

Heavy traffic jam has changed to one of the most significant issues of mega cities in recent years, thus it has become the priority of governments in all around the world. there are numerous methods to reduce the traffic rate in cities which would be discussed in this essay. Some individuals argue that the most effective way to settle the traffic congestion is to rebuild and renew the highways and streets. As a rational solution governments can broaden the paths and routes and definitely it would have direct link on reduction of traffics, because as it is clear the more space would lead to much more vehicles to transport. On the other hand, there are absolutely other effective methods to control the problem too. one of them would be the development of public transport system which contains buses, trains, taxis. with reconstructing of those public vehicles people could find an alternative for their private cars, thus the usage rate of private cars would dramatically fell down. A further way is to educate people about the usage of their own vehicles and convene them to use public vehicles much more. For instance, it would be useful to illustrate the public concerning the consequences of excessive usage of private cars such as wasting a lot of time in traffic, spending so much costs on fuels and the last but not the least, the environmental issues and health problems. Finally, the governments and the responsible organizations must consider stricter rules and implement them precisely in the community or maybe by regarding incentive policies in some situations they could play a key role to reduce traffic congestion, also another important parameter is the culture level of people in communities. For instance, in a perfect society the driving culture of people is in a manner that prevents the traffic to some extent. In conclusion I believe that there is not only a single way to sort out the problem of traffic but also there are several methods which were mentioned. on the whole to reduce the amount of traffic jam it is necessary that all members of society represent a sense of collaboration and unity and follow the rules completely.
Words: 365Paragraphs: 1
Submitted: 7/22/2023, 09:25 PM

Coherence And Cohesion5.5

The essay presents a coherent argument with a clear structure, discussing both views on traffic congestion solutions and offering an opinion. However, there are issues with cohesion, such as inconsistent use of linking words and unclear connections between some ideas, which occasionally disrupt the flow of the essay.

Recommendations:

  • Use pronouns or synonyms to avoid repetition and enhance cohesion within paragraphs, ensuring that each sentence flows smoothly into the next.
  • Ensure consistent use of linking words and phrases to clearly connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs, such as 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' 'Moreover,' and 'In addition.'
  • Improve paragraph transitions by summarizing the previous point or linking it to the next idea, which will help maintain a logical progression.

Lexical Resource6.0

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, including some topic-specific terms related to traffic congestion and urban planning. However, there are several instances of incorrect word forms and awkward phrasing that detract from the overall lexical resource quality.

Recommendations:

  • Avoid repetition by using synonyms or rephrasing. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'vehicles,' consider alternatives like 'automobiles,' 'cars,' or 'modes of transport.'
  • Improve vocabulary accuracy by using correct word forms and collocations. For example, 'traffic jam has changed to one of the most significant issues' could be revised to 'traffic congestion has become one of the most significant issues.'
  • Expand vocabulary range by incorporating more varied and precise terms. For example, instead of 'reduce the traffic rate,' you could use 'alleviate traffic congestion.'
  • Ensure correct use of prepositions and articles for clarity. For instance, 'in all around the world' should be 'all around the world.'
  • Improve the use of linking phrases to enhance coherence and cohesion, such as 'on the other hand' and 'finally,' ensuring they are used appropriately to connect ideas smoothly.

Grammatical Range5.5

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and some variety in sentence types. However, there are noticeable grammatical errors, particularly in subject-verb agreement, articles, and prepositions, which affect clarity and precision.

Recommendations:

  • Improve article usage, for instance, 'the traffic rate' should be 'traffic rates' or 'the rate of traffic.'
  • Use prepositions correctly, e.g., 'in all around the world' should be 'all around the world' or 'throughout the world.'
  • Capitalize the first letter of sentences and proper nouns consistently.
  • Use more varied sentence structures to enhance complexity and engagement.
  • Ensure subject-verb agreement is consistently correct, such as 'traffic jam has changed to one' should be 'traffic jam has become one.'

Task Achievement5.5

The essay addresses the task prompt by discussing both views on traffic congestion solutions and providing an opinion on effective measures. It outlines the argument for expanding roads and alternative measures like improving public transport and educating the public. The essay concludes with a personal opinion, emphasizing the need for collaborative efforts.

Recommendations:

  • Provide more specific examples or data to support the effectiveness of each proposed solution.
  • Ensure that the conclusion summarizes the main points and reinforces your opinion more clearly.
  • Clearly state your opinion in the introduction to guide the reader on your stance.
  • Ensure that each paragraph directly addresses the task prompt, especially when discussing alternative measures, to maintain focus on traffic congestion.
GRADED
5.5
Coherence and Cohesion:5.5
Lexical Resource:6.0
Grammatical Range:5.5
Task Achievement:5.5
Band Score:5.5
Coherence and Cohesion5.5
Logical structure6
Introduction & conclusion present5
Supported main points6
Accurate linking words5
Variety in linking words5

Lexical Resource6
Varied vocabulary6
Accurate spelling & word formation6

Grammatical Range5.5
Mix of complex & simple sentences6
Clear and correct grammar5

Task Achievement5.5
Complete response6
Clear & comprehensive ideas5
Relevant & specific examples5
Appropriate word count6