BAND 5.0 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: BALANCING CAREER VS PERSONAL LIFE - DISCUSSING BOTH ARGUMENTS
Explore a Band 5.0 IELTS essay sample discussing how governments can discourage private car use in congested cities. Our essay evaluates the role of education campaigns, investment in public transport, and special taxes. Discover how these methods impact congestion, pollution, inequality, and quality of life.
Writing Task
Some people argue that individuals should prioritize their career over their personal lives, while others believe that maintaining a balance between the two is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 4.5 Scoring and Feedback
As cities become more congested, governments are seeking ways to discourage the use of private cars in city centers. Investment in public transport and education campaigns are two methods that can be used to achieve this goal.
Education campaigns can be useful in highlighting the benefits of using public transport or walking instead of driving. They can also raise awareness of the negative impacts of driving, such as air pollution and traffic accidents. However, education campaigns alone may not be enough to change people's behavior, especially if there are no viable alternatives to private cars.
Investment in public transport is a more effective method for governments to consider. By improving bus services, building new train lines, or introducing bike-sharing schemes, governments can make it easier and more convenient for people to use public transport. This can reduce the number of cars on the roads, which in turn can reduce congestion and pollution. Moreover, investment in public transport can also make city centers more accessible to people who do not own cars, such as low-income families or young people.
While some argue that special taxes on private cars could be effective in discouraging their use, this method may not be as sustainable as investment in public transport. Taxes may disproportionately affect low-income families who cannot afford to pay them, while investment in public transport can benefit everyone regardless of income or lifestyle.
In conclusion, investment in public transport is the most important method for governments to consider when trying to discourage the use of private cars in city centers. By creating viable alternatives to driving, governments can reduce congestion, pollution, and inequality, while also promoting economic growth and improving quality of life for everyone. Education campaigns can be a useful supplement to investment in public transport, but they alone may not be enough to achieve the desired results.
Words: 307|Paragraphs: 5
Submitted: 7/17/2023, 04:23 PM
Coherence And Cohesion5.0
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range5.0
Task Achievement3.0
GRADED
4.5
Coherence and Cohesion:How well the essay is organized and how well ideas are connected throughout.5.0
Lexical Resource:The range of vocabulary used and how accurately and appropriately it is used.5.0
Grammatical Range:The range and accurate use of grammar structures.5.0
Task Achievement:How well the essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a fully developed response.3.0
Band Score:4.5
Coherence and Cohesion5
Logical structure5
Introduction & conclusion present5
Supported main points5
Accurate linking words5
Variety in linking words5
Lexical Resource5
Varied vocabulary5
Accurate spelling & word formation5
Grammatical Range5
Mix of complex & simple sentences5
Clear and correct grammar5
Task Achievement3
Complete response3
Clear & comprehensive ideas3
Relevant & specific examples3
Appropriate word count5