BAND 7.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: WRITING AN APPRECIATION LETTER TO CONFERENCE ORGANIZERS - KEY POINTS & SUGGESTIONS

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Writing Task

You recently attended a conference organized by a well-known company in your field. The conference was informative, and you had a great experience. Now, you would like to express your gratitude and appreciation to the organizers. Write a letter to the conference organizer. In your letter: - Thank them for organizing the conference - Describe what you found particularly useful and enjoyable - Suggest any improvements that could be made for future conferences

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 7.0 Scoring and Feedback

Dear Peter, I am writing to thank you for the fantabulous environmental conference which was held 5th of July 2023. I would like to thank you a lot for the endeavors and efforts you made. That was great work and I had never participated in such an awesome conference. Also, your company's reputation made this conference unique and everyone was impressed. I found this conference beneficial because of a wide variety of reasons. Firstly, there was enormous proved information about the environment and its problems. In addition, the company tried to explain long-sight approaches towards every single trouble and encourage people to use them in their lives to have a better situation in the future. I would like to suggest some improvements to have a better conference in the future. I was wondering if you could provide some information and evidence about the detrimental effects of fossil fuels as well as the important role of solar energy in our lives. I hope that you will address these concerns at the next conference. yours Sincerely, Mehran Nikravan
Words: 176Paragraphs: 4
Submitted: 7/23/2023, 06:19 AM

Coherence And Cohesion7.0

The letter demonstrates a clear structure with a logical progression of ideas. Each paragraph is dedicated to a specific part of the task, maintaining focus and relevance. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother, and there are minor issues with paragraphing and linking words that slightly affect the flow.

Recommendations:

  • Make sure to close the letter with a proper sign-off, such as 'Yours sincerely', followed by the sender's name on a new line.
  • Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to guide the reader through the content.
  • Use more varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas, such as 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource7.0

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with some effective use of less common words such as 'fantabulous', 'endeavors', and 'detrimental'. However, there are occasional inaccuracies and awkward phrasing that hinder clarity and naturalness, such as 'enormous proved information' and 'long-sight approaches'.

Recommendations:

  • Incorporate more topic-specific vocabulary related to environmental issues to enhance the lexical resource.
  • Replace awkward or inaccurate phrases with more precise expressions, e.g., use 'substantial verified information' instead of 'enormous proved information'.
  • Ensure that less common words are used accurately in context to avoid awkwardness, e.g., 'fantabulous' is informal and may not be suitable for a formal letter.

Grammatical Range7.0

The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of grammatical range with some complex sentence structures and a variety of sentences, but there are noticeable errors that impact clarity and coherence.

Recommendations:

  • Ensure proper capitalization, especially in closing phrases like 'Yours sincerely' instead of 'yours Sincerely.'
  • Ensure subject-verb agreement is maintained throughout. For example, 'there was enormous proved information' should be 'there was an enormous amount of proven information.'
  • Improve sentence structure by avoiding run-on sentences. For instance, 'That was great work and I had never participated in such an awesome conference' can be split into two sentences for clarity: 'That was great work. I had never participated in such an awesome conference before.'
  • Use articles correctly. For example, 'a wide variety of reasons' should be 'a wide variety of reasons' or 'a wide variety of topics.'
  • Use more varied sentence structures. Try to incorporate more complex sentences with conjunctions and relative clauses to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures.

Task Achievement7.0

The letter effectively addresses all parts of the task prompt by expressing gratitude, describing useful aspects of the conference, and suggesting improvements. However, the suggestions for improvements could be more specific and relevant to the overall theme of the conference for stronger task achievement.

Recommendations:

  • Provide more specific examples or details about what was particularly useful and enjoyable at the conference to enhance clarity and engagement.
  • Ensure the suggestions for improvements are directly related to the conference theme and are feasible for the organizers to implement.
GRADED
7.0
Coherence and Cohesion:7.0
Lexical Resource:7.0
Grammatical Range:7.0
Task Achievement:7.0
Band Score:7.0
Coherence and Cohesion7
Logical structure7
Introduction & conclusion present7
Supported main points7
Accurate linking words7
Variety in linking words7
Lexical Resource7
Varied vocabulary7
Accurate spelling & word formation7
Grammatical Range7
Mix of complex & simple sentences7
Clear and correct grammar7
Task Achievement7
Complete response7
Clear & comprehensive ideas7
Relevant & specific examples7
Appropriate word count7
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