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BAND 5.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: COMPOSING A DISSATISFACTION LETTER TO HOTEL MANAGEMENT - A GUIDE FOR IELTS TEST TAKERS

Discover a transparent Band 5.5 score IELTS essay sample that candidly reviews a hotel stay experience. Detailed narrative captures key issues like noise control, staff coordination, food quality, and lobby management, providing realistic IELTS preparation content.

Writing Task

You recently attended a professional conference in another city and stayed at a hotel during the event. However, you faced some issues at the hotel which negatively affected your experience. Write a letter to the hotel manager to express your dissatisfaction. In your letter, you should: 1. Describe the conference and your reason for staying at the hotel. 2. Explain the issues you faced during your stay. 3. Suggest possible improvements or compensation from the hotel.

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 5.0 Scoring and Feedback

Hi,I am one of user in your hotel and i have to in your city hotel because I have attend In professional conference and I chose here because it is close to the event location I had some problems during my stay at the hotel Unfortunately,the noise is very high and the movement of the hotel staff is very irregular In terms of food quality and variety,the conditions are not good I suggest you to make the staff travel as less as possible and coordinate and also increase the variety of food. And please manage the lobby area more regularly so that when there is a large crowd, the noise does not disturb the peace and rest of others. I don't want any damage from you,I just hope you take care of the problems because I might come back to this hotel for the conference Thank you,Ihope you are successful
Words: 150Paragraphs: 2
Submitted: 7/17/2023, 03:09 PM

Coherence And Cohesion5.0

The essay has a basic structure but lacks clear paragraphing and logical progression of ideas, which affects its coherence and cohesion. The ideas are presented in a list-like manner without effective use of cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs.

Recommendations:

  • Use cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Additionally', 'Moreover', 'However', etc., to connect ideas and guide the reader through the letter.
  • Ensure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next, enhancing the overall coherence of the letter.
  • Organize the letter into clear paragraphs, each addressing a specific point from the prompt: introduction, issues faced, and suggestions.
  • Begin with a proper salutation and introduce yourself and the purpose of your letter clearly in the opening paragraph.

Lexical Resource5.0

The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary with limited precision and some errors in word choice and usage, which affects clarity and coherence.

Recommendations:

  • Ensure consistency in the use of formal language suitable for a complaint letter, avoiding informal expressions like 'Hi' and 'Thank you,Ihope you are successful'.
  • Expand your vocabulary related to hotel stays and professional conferences to describe issues and suggestions more precisely, such as using terms like 'accommodation', 'amenities', 'service efficiency', 'culinary options', and 'noise management'.
  • Incorporate more complex and varied vocabulary to enhance the richness of the text. For instance, instead of 'staff travel as less as possible', use 'minimize staff movement'.
  • Correct the use of words and phrases to match the context appropriately. For example, replace 'user' with 'guest' and 'the noise is very high' with 'the noise level was excessive'.

Grammatical Range4.0

The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily using simple sentences with occasional errors in verb forms and sentence construction. There is minimal use of complex structures, which affects the overall grammatical range.

Recommendations:

  • Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and verb forms to avoid errors, especially in sentences like 'I am one of user' and 'I have attend'.
  • Use appropriate punctuation to clearly separate ideas and clauses, improving the readability and grammatical correctness of the essay.
  • Incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences, to demonstrate a broader grammatical range.

Task Achievement5.0

The essay addresses the task by covering the main points: describing the conference, detailing issues faced, and suggesting improvements. However, it lacks specific details and examples that would enhance the clarity and effectiveness of the complaint.

Recommendations:

  • Conclude with a clear statement of expected compensation or a more structured suggestion for improvements, even if no compensation is desired.
  • Provide specific details about the conference, such as its name, duration, and your role there, to give context to your stay.
  • Offer more detailed suggestions for improvement, such as specific types of food that could be added or how staff movement could be minimized.
  • Clearly describe the issues faced with specific examples, such as the times when noise was a problem or specific instances of poor food quality.
GRADED
5.0
Coherence and Cohesion:5.0
Lexical Resource:5.0
Grammatical Range:4.0
Task Achievement:5.0
Band Score:5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5
Logical structure5
Introduction & conclusion present5
Supported main points5
Accurate linking words5
Variety in linking words5
Lexical Resource5
Varied vocabulary5
Accurate spelling & word formation5
Grammatical Range4
Mix of complex & simple sentences4
Clear and correct grammar4
Task Achievement5
Complete response5
Clear & comprehensive ideas5
Relevant & specific examples5
Appropriate word count5
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