BAND 5.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: APPRECIATIVE LETTER TO CONFERENCE SPEAKER | IMPACTFUL PRESENTATION INSIGHTS

Explore our IELTS essay sample with a band score of 5.5. See how Mr. Hassani effectively conveys his admiration for a conference speech that changed his perspective on climate change solutions. Use this as a guide for your own IELTS writing test preparation.

Writing Task

You recently attended a professional conference, and you were highly impressed by one of the guest speakers. Write a letter to the guest speaker expressing your appreciation for their presentation. In your letter, include: - Introduction: Explain who you are and why you are writing - Description: Describe what you enjoyed about the presentation - Impact: Explain how the presentation has benefited you or changed your perspective

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 5.0 Scoring and Feedback

Dear Mr. John, I am Mr. Hassani, one of the attending at the recent conference, which was held by the community. I am writing to you regarding your wonderful speech by which I impressed a lot. To be honest, your flawless presentation open a new life for me, and it changed my whole point of view of my current project, which is about the method of reducing the climate change issues. Your perspective regarding to mitigate and precious approach in upcoming future, and combating environmental problems make it easier to me. As a result, I could amend my whole project, so I reach an incredible outcome at the end. Furthermore, thanks to you, I will submitted two essays in next month. apart from all of being said, I would like to take part any conference which you are attend in order to benefiting your practical ideas about my future project. yours sincerely, Mr. Hassani
Words: 154Paragraphs: 6
Submitted: 7/21/2023, 08:48 AM

Coherence And Cohesion5.0

The essay attempts to follow a logical structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, but lacks clear progression and effective use of cohesive devices. Sentences are often disjointed, and ideas are not always logically connected, which affects the overall coherence.

Recommendations:

  • Avoid abrupt transitions by providing context or explanations when introducing new ideas or shifting topics.
  • Use more cohesive devices such as conjunctions and linking words (e.g., 'Firstly,' 'Moreover,' 'However') to connect ideas within and between sentences more effectively.
  • Ensure that each sentence logically follows from the previous one to improve the flow of ideas. For example, clearly explain how the speaker's perspective impacted your project.
  • Improve paragraphing by clearly separating the introduction, main points, and conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea or theme.

Lexical Resource5.0

The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary with occasional attempts to use less common words and phrases, but there are some inaccuracies in word choice and formality.

Recommendations:

  • Ensure consistency in formality. The phrase 'by which I impressed a lot' should be revised to more formal language like 'which left a significant impression on me.'
  • Expand your vocabulary range by learning synonyms and antonyms of common words to avoid repetition and demonstrate a wider lexical resource.
  • Pay attention to collocations and ensure that words are used in the correct context, such as 'attending' should be 'attendees' and 'benefiting' should be 'benefit from'.
  • Avoid incorrect use of words such as 'precious approach' which should be 'valuable approach' to convey the intended meaning more accurately.

Grammatical Range5.0

The essay demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures with several errors in sentence construction, verb forms, and agreement. There is an attempt to use complex structures, but inaccuracies impact clarity and coherence.

Recommendations:

  • Ensure subject-verb agreement, such as 'I am one of the attendees' instead of 'one of the attending.'
  • Use articles correctly, e.g., 'the upcoming future' instead of 'upcoming future.'
  • Use conjunctions and relative clauses accurately to connect ideas and provide clarity.
  • Correct verb forms and tenses, such as 'I was impressed' instead of 'I impressed a lot.'
  • Improve sentence structure by avoiding run-on sentences and ensuring each sentence has a clear subject and predicate.

Task Achievement5.0

The letter addresses the task prompt by expressing appreciation for the guest speaker's presentation, describing its impact, and how it has benefited the writer. However, the letter lacks clarity and completeness in some areas, such as the introduction and specific details about the presentation's impact.

Recommendations:

  • Enhance the introduction by clearly stating your role or profession to establish context and credibility.
  • Provide specific details about what aspects of the presentation were impressive or beneficial, such as particular ideas or strategies discussed.
  • Ensure all parts of the task are addressed with sufficient detail, such as explaining the change in perspective or the outcome of the amended project.
  • Clarify the impact of the presentation by detailing how exactly it changed your perspective or benefited your work, ensuring it aligns with the task requirements.
GRADED
5.0
Coherence and Cohesion:5.0
Lexical Resource:5.0
Grammatical Range:5.0
Task Achievement:5.0
Band Score:5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5
Logical structure5
Introduction & conclusion present5
Supported main points5
Accurate linking words5
Variety in linking words5
Lexical Resource5
Varied vocabulary5
Accurate spelling & word formation5
Grammatical Range5
Mix of complex & simple sentences5
Clear and correct grammar5
Task Achievement5
Complete response5
Clear & comprehensive ideas5
Relevant & specific examples5
Appropriate word count5
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