BAND 6.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: WRITING A CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK LETTER TO A HOTEL MANAGEMENT - DETAILED EXPLAINER

Explore a band 6.5 score IELTS essay sample reviewing a hotel stay experience. From assessing furniture quality to evaluating food diversity and staff services, this detailed review can provide valuable insights for preparing your next IELTS writing task. Improve your score with our comprehensive essay samples.

Writing Task

You recently attended a conference in another city and stayed at a hotel. Overall, you had a good experience, but there were a few issues with the hotel facilities. Write a letter to the hotel management to express your opinions about your stay. In your letter: - Describe the positive aspects of your stay - Explain the problems you faced with the hotel facilities - Suggest what improvements can be made to avoid these issues in the future

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 5.0 Scoring and Feedback

Hello. Its mohammadreza yazdanpanah. I stayed in your hotel for 5 days. As somone who travels a lot I can say that the overall experience was outstanding but there was a few problems with the quality of materials used in furniture. The pillows were too old and wasn't high enough so they made me have a little discomfort in the morning. The food was great but the items wasn't really diverse enough if you're vegan. I think a little improvement in the food diversity could make the geusts experience quiet better. The air conditioning wasn't working all the time but it wasn't a big deal afterall. The positive sides however was too bright and its not possible for me to mention all of them here so i can give you a few examples. The staff were amazing. They were extremely kind and punctual so if someone asks them for help they won't disappoint them. The foods were quiet healthy because the chef knew how to do his job properly. The room was also very quiet and comfortable. I would recommend this hotel to my coworkers whenever someone wants to take a visit to this city. Thanks a lot
Words: 198Paragraphs: 1
Submitted: 7/22/2023, 12:02 AM

Coherence And Cohesion5.0

The essay demonstrates a basic level of coherence and cohesion but lacks clear paragraphing and logical progression of ideas.

Recommendations:

  • Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between sentences, such as 'however', 'on the other hand', 'furthermore', and 'in addition'.
  • Ensure consistency in verb tense and subject-verb agreement to maintain cohesion and readability.
  • Organize the letter into clear paragraphs: one for positive aspects, one for problems faced, and one for suggestions. This will help in logically structuring the information.

Lexical Resource5.0

The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary with some attempts at using more complex words. However, there are several spelling and word choice errors that affect clarity and precision, such as 'geusts' instead of 'guests', 'quiet' instead of 'quite', and 'wasn't' instead of 'weren't'. The use of vocabulary is occasionally imprecise, which sometimes obscures meaning.

Recommendations:

  • Expand vocabulary range by learning synonyms and different expressions to describe experiences more vividly and accurately.
  • Use more precise vocabulary to describe experiences and opinions. For example, instead of 'wasn't high enough', consider 'lacked sufficient height' to convey the idea more clearly.
  • Practice using complex and varied sentence structures to better showcase vocabulary skills and improve the overall coherence of the writing.
  • Pay attention to spelling mistakes and ensure words are spelled correctly, as errors can confuse the reader and lower the quality of the writing.

Grammatical Range4.0

The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, with frequent errors in subject-verb agreement and sentence structure. There is a lack of complex sentences and varied grammatical forms.

Recommendations:

  • Use relative clauses to add more detail, e.g., 'The staff, who were extremely kind and punctual, did not disappoint'.
  • Incorporate more complex sentences using conjunctions like 'although', 'because', and 'since' to enhance grammatical range.
  • Work on consistent verb tense usage, ensuring past and present tenses are used correctly throughout the letter.
  • Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, especially with singular and plural nouns, e.g., 'there was a few problems' should be 'there were a few problems', 'items wasn't' should be 'items weren't'.

Task Achievement5.0

The letter addresses all parts of the task prompt, describing both positive aspects and issues faced during the stay, and suggesting improvements. However, the level of detail and clarity in some areas could be improved to fully meet the task requirements.

Recommendations:

  • Ensure all parts of the prompt are addressed with balanced attention, giving equal weight to positive aspects and issues, to ensure a comprehensive response.
  • Provide more specific details about the issues faced, such as describing the exact problems with the air conditioning and how it affected your stay, to enhance clarity and task achievement.
  • Include more specific suggestions for improvements, such as recommending specific changes to the pillow quality or providing examples of vegan food options that could be added to the menu.
GRADED
5.0
Coherence and Cohesion:5.0
Lexical Resource:5.0
Grammatical Range:4.0
Task Achievement:5.0
Band Score:5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5
Logical structure5
Introduction & conclusion present5
Supported main points5
Accurate linking words5
Variety in linking words5
Lexical Resource5
Varied vocabulary5
Accurate spelling & word formation5
Grammatical Range4
Mix of complex & simple sentences4
Clear and correct grammar4
Task Achievement5
Complete response5
Clear & comprehensive ideas5
Relevant & specific examples5
Appropriate word count5
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