BAND 6.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: WRITING A COMPLAINT LETTER TO A HOTEL MANAGER - UNSATISFACTORY STAY EXPERIENCE

Explore a band 6.5 IELTS essay sample at our website. This example discusses a customer's experience at a 4-star hotel, highlighting issues of service and food quality. A great resource for IELTS preparation and learning how to effectively express dissatisfaction in an English context.

Writing Task

You recently attended a conference in another city and stayed at a hotel. However, you were not satisfied with the hotel accommodations and services. Write a letter to the hotel manager. In your letter, include: - Details about your stay (booking reference, dates, etc.) - What were the issues you faced during your stay? - What actions do you expect the hotel to take in response to your complaints?

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 5.0 Scoring and Feedback

Dear Sir, I'm staying at your hotel - Garden Grove - located in Orchard, Singapore. I came to the hotel 2 days ago, in room 205, and expected to stay during the week but I'm very sorry to say that the services here are very bad, not at the level of 4-star hotel. Although I asked for the clean service 2 hours in advance, they didn't come until I returned to the room after the meeting. Moreover, the food for breakfast is somehow not in good condition. I'm having a stomachache due to the breakfast in the hotel cafeteria this morning. I cannot imagine it's so bad like that in such a place in Singapore. If the situation cannot be enhanced, I would like you to refund the money that I have deposited for a week. I'd rather book another hotel a little bit far from the center than the one with bad services. Thank you for your understanding!
Words: 159Paragraphs: 1
Submitted: 7/12/2023, 10:33 PM

Coherence And Cohesion5.0

The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, coherence is somewhat disrupted due to abrupt transitions and lack of clear linkage between ideas. The letter lacks cohesive devices to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next.

Recommendations:

  • Consider using pronouns and referencing to link sentences and avoid repetition, which can enhance cohesion.
  • Use linking words and phrases such as 'Firstly', 'In addition', and 'Finally' to connect your ideas and improve the flow of the letter.
  • Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details, especially when describing the issues faced, to maintain coherence.

Lexical Resource5.0

The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary appropriate for the task, with some attempts at more complex expressions. However, there are instances of incorrect word choice and informal language that affect clarity and tone.

Recommendations:

  • Incorporate more complex sentences with varied vocabulary to demonstrate a higher level of lexical resource.
  • Use a wider range of vocabulary to describe issues more precisely, such as 'housekeeping service' instead of 'clean service'.
  • Avoid informal expressions like 'I'm very sorry to say' in formal letters; use more formal alternatives like 'I regret to inform you'.
  • Ensure correct word choice for clarity, such as 'improve' instead of 'enhance' when referring to services.

Grammatical Range5.0

The essay demonstrates a basic grammatical range with mostly simple sentence structures and some errors impacting clarity.

Recommendations:

  • Review and practice correct use of articles ('a', 'an', 'the') to ensure appropriate usage.
  • Incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures, such as compound and complex sentences, to enhance grammatical range.
  • Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, especially in sentences with singular and plural subjects.
  • Use more precise conjunctions and transitional phrases to improve sentence fluency and coherence.

Task Achievement5.0

The letter addresses the task prompt by providing details about the stay, describing the issues faced, and suggesting a desired action from the hotel. However, some elements could be more explicitly detailed to fully achieve the task requirements.

Recommendations:

  • Include specific booking details such as a booking reference number and exact dates of stay to clearly fulfill the requirement of providing details about the stay.
  • Expand on the issues faced by providing more specific examples or elaboration, such as describing the extent of the cleanliness issue or specifying what was wrong with the breakfast food.
  • Clearly outline the expected actions from the hotel, such as specifying the amount of refund expected or suggesting other forms of compensation, to ensure the letter fully addresses the task prompt.
GRADED
5.0
Coherence and Cohesion:5.0
Lexical Resource:5.0
Grammatical Range:5.0
Task Achievement:5.0
Band Score:5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5
Logical structure5
Introduction & conclusion present5
Supported main points5
Accurate linking words5
Variety in linking words5
Lexical Resource5
Varied vocabulary5
Accurate spelling & word formation5
Grammatical Range5
Mix of complex & simple sentences5
Clear and correct grammar5
Task Achievement5
Complete response5
Clear & comprehensive ideas5
Relevant & specific examples5
Appropriate word count5
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