BAND 6.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: WRITE A LETTER ABOUT A LOST SUITCASE - DETAILED DESCRIPTION & REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE

Explore our IELTS Band 6.5 essay sample addressing a common situation - Lost luggage at a conference. This example demonstrates effective communication skills required for a Band 6.5 score. Ideal for IELTS aspirants aiming to improve their writing skills.

Writing Task

You recently attended a conference in a foreign country and left your suitcase at the event venue. Write a letter to the venue's manager to inform them about your lost suitcase. In your letter: - Describe your suitcase's appearance and contents - Explain where and when you last saw it - Request assistance in locating and returning the suitcase

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 5.0 Scoring and Feedback

hello Mr. Apple, This is Viyana. I have lost my luggage in conference two weeks ago, in the last day of the conference.It was black and white in color and quite small in size. My suitcase has a long golden chain too. It contains some cosmetics, my iphone and some important documents such as my passport, driving license and my identification card. there is also in it. You can verify my name by the ID card. I may have lost it in the great hall, near the drinking table. The staff might have seen it on the table or near the bar. I wish your help. I would appreciate it , if you help me find it and sent my suitcase back to me as soon as possible. As I have mentioned before, there are some important document in it. I will need them to departure back to my country. Special thanks, Viyana
Words: 153Paragraphs: 2
Submitted: 7/21/2023, 06:15 PM

Coherence And Cohesion5.0

The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, but lacks clear and logical progression of ideas. There are abrupt shifts between points, and some sentences are incomplete, affecting the overall coherence and cohesion.

Recommendations:

  • Add a closing statement that summarizes the request and expresses appreciation, providing a smoother conclusion to the letter.
  • Improve sentence structure to avoid abrupt transitions. For example, start by clearly stating when and where the suitcase was last seen before describing its appearance and contents.
  • Use consistent verb tenses to maintain coherence, such as using past tense consistently when describing past events.
  • Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use linking words or phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource5.0

The essay uses a basic range of vocabulary with some repetition and limited use of less common lexical items. There are some attempts to use specific vocabulary related to the context, like 'conference', 'passport', and 'driving license', but overall, the vocabulary is quite simple and lacks sophistication.

Recommendations:

  • Use more varied sentence structures to naturally introduce a wider range of vocabulary.
  • Expand your vocabulary by learning and practicing more synonyms and context-specific terms to avoid repetition and enhance your writing.
  • Incorporate more descriptive and precise adjectives to provide a clearer picture of the suitcase and its contents.

Grammatical Range5.0

The essay demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures, with some complexity attempted, but there are frequent errors that hinder clarity and coherence.

Recommendations:

  • Capitalize the first word of each sentence and proper nouns, such as 'hello Mr. Apple' should be 'Hello Mr. Apple,' and 'there is also in it' should start with a capital 'T.'
  • Improve the use of articles. For example, 'in the last day of the conference' should be 'on the last day of the conference.'
  • Correct sentence fragments like 'there is also in it' to complete thoughts and maintain clarity.
  • Use consistent verb tenses. For instance, 'sent my suitcase back' should be 'send my suitcase back' to maintain present tense consistency.
  • Ensure subject-verb agreement, especially in sentences like 'I have lost my luggage in conference two weeks ago' which should be 'I lost my luggage at the conference two weeks ago.'

Task Achievement5.0

The letter addresses the task requirements but lacks sufficient detail and clarity in some areas, impacting the overall effectiveness of communication.

Recommendations:

  • Provide more specific details about the suitcase's appearance, such as dimensions or distinctive features, to aid in identification.
  • Clearly state the exact location and time when the suitcase was last seen to help the venue staff locate it.
  • Include a clear and polite request for assistance, ensuring all necessary contact information is provided for the return of the suitcase.
GRADED
5.0
Coherence and Cohesion:5.0
Lexical Resource:5.0
Grammatical Range:5.0
Task Achievement:5.0
Band Score:5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5
Logical structure5
Introduction & conclusion present5
Supported main points5
Accurate linking words5
Variety in linking words5
Lexical Resource5
Varied vocabulary5
Accurate spelling & word formation5
Grammatical Range5
Mix of complex & simple sentences5
Clear and correct grammar5
Task Achievement5
Complete response5
Clear & comprehensive ideas5
Relevant & specific examples5
Appropriate word count5
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