BAND 6.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: ONLINE SHOPPING DISSATISFACTION LETTER - PRODUCT ISSUES & RESOLUTION REQUEST

Explore our collection of IELTS essay samples like this band 6.5 scored letter. A customer seeking a solution for an ill-fitting shirt presents a common IELTS task 1 topic. Improve your language skills and learn how to address real-life situations effectively.

Writing Task

You recently purchased an item online, but you are not satisfied with the product you received. Write a letter to the online store where you made the purchase. In your letter, include the following: - A description of the product you bought - An explanation of why you are unhappy with the product - What action you would like the store to take to resolve the issue

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 5.0 Scoring and Feedback

Hello there, One week ago I bought a shirt online from your website but it is not good and fits me very well. Its description is blue in color, long sleeve very thick. just I am wondering is there any possibility to exchange it with larger size. I am looking for your options which I can consider. I am not a picky person and I just want the exact my size. please if you don't like to exchange it tell me how can I return it in a short time. Is it possible for your company to solve my problem properly or should I switch to another way to solve my problem? I believe it is your responsibility to take back your product as soon as possible. so if you accept my request I prefer the larger size yellow an sleeveless shirt in my size. Thanks your consideration in advance. Thanks Sara
Words: 152Paragraphs: 3
Submitted: 7/21/2023, 03:25 PM

Coherence And Cohesion5.0

The letter attempts to address the prompt's requirements, but lacks clear organization and logical progression of ideas, impacting coherence and cohesion.

Recommendations:

  • Conclude the letter with a polite closing that summarizes the request or expresses hope for a resolution, to improve the overall coherence.
  • Use cohesive devices such as 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' to guide the reader through the different points being made.
  • Improve sentence structure to enhance readability and flow, particularly by avoiding run-on sentences and ensuring each sentence focuses on a single idea.
  • Ensure logical sequencing of ideas by clearly separating the description of the product, explanation of dissatisfaction, and desired resolution into distinct paragraphs.

Lexical Resource5.0

The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary with some attempts to use less common words and phrases, but there are noticeable errors in word choice and word form that affect clarity and precision.

Recommendations:

  • Avoid repetition of words like 'problem,' and consider synonyms to enhance lexical resource.
  • Expand your vocabulary related to clothing and online shopping to describe items and issues more precisely.
  • Use more varied language to express requests and preferences, for example, instead of 'I just want the exact my size,' consider 'I would prefer a shirt that fits me correctly.'
  • Ensure correct word forms and collocations, such as 'fits me very well' should be 'does not fit me well.'

Grammatical Range5.0

The essay demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures with frequent errors, particularly in sentence formation, punctuation, and verb forms.

Recommendations:

  • Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and verb forms. For instance, 'it is not good and fits me very well' should be 'it is not good and does not fit me well.'
  • Use punctuation correctly to separate ideas and clauses. Instead of 'just I am wondering is there any possibility to exchange it with larger size,' consider 'I am wondering if there is a possibility to exchange it for a larger size.'
  • Improve the use of modal verbs for politeness and formality, such as 'could' or 'would,' to make requests more polite. For example, 'please if you don't like to exchange it tell me how can I return it' can be revised to 'Could you please let me know how I can return it if an exchange is not possible?'
  • Improve sentence structure by combining short, fragmented sentences into more complex ones. For example, 'Its description is blue in color, long sleeve very thick.' can be revised to 'The shirt is described as blue in color, with long sleeves and a very thick material.'

Task Achievement5.0

The letter addresses the task prompt by describing the purchased product, explaining dissatisfaction, and suggesting actions for resolution. However, it lacks clarity and specificity in some areas, such as the product description and the desired resolution.

Recommendations:

  • Use polite and formal language to maintain a professional tone throughout the letter, which will better meet the expectations of formal correspondence.
  • Provide a more detailed and clear description of the product, including specific details like the brand, size, and any relevant identifying features.
  • Clearly state why the product does not meet expectations, such as specific issues with fit or quality.
  • Specify the exact action you want the store to take, such as exchanging for a different size or a refund, and provide clear instructions for how you would like the process to proceed.
GRADED
5.0
Coherence and Cohesion:5.0
Lexical Resource:5.0
Grammatical Range:5.0
Task Achievement:5.0
Band Score:5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5
Logical structure5
Introduction & conclusion present5
Supported main points5
Accurate linking words5
Variety in linking words5
Lexical Resource5
Varied vocabulary5
Accurate spelling & word formation5
Grammatical Range5
Mix of complex & simple sentences5
Clear and correct grammar5
Task Achievement5
Complete response5
Clear & comprehensive ideas5
Relevant & specific examples5
Appropriate word count5
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