BAND 6.0 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: WRITING A COMPLAINT LETTER TO A HOTEL MANAGER | IELTS TASK – DISCONTENTMENT WITH HOTEL ACCOMMODATIONS AND SERVICES

Discover how to improve your IELTS band score with our comprehensive essay sample. Learn from our unique example of a band 6.0 IELTS complaint letter, covering common issues such as thin walls, cleanliness, and air conditioning in hotels. Explore ways to express dissatisfaction and request improvements in your writing.

Writing Task

You recently attended a conference in another city and stayed at a hotel. However, you were not satisfied with the hotel accommodations and services. Write a letter to the hotel manager. In your letter, include: - Details about your stay (booking reference, dates, etc.) - What were the issues you faced during your stay? - What actions do you expect the hotel to take in response to your complaints?

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 5.0 Scoring and Feedback

Hi, I'm Tien I am writing this letter to complain about all the issues I had to cope with during my stay at your hotel. First of all is that the walls are too thin, I could hear clearly what the others were doing in the room next door. Not only that, the room was way too dirty when I first got into it, and I had to spend almost an hour just to make it be acceptable. Not to mention, the air conditioner didn't work well for me, even if the room is quite small, I still had to wait forever just to feel a little cooler. The last thing I want to tell you is about the lights, why would you put so many in such a small room, these hurt my eyes. After reading this, I hope you can fix all the problems above so that the others can have a nice trip around here. Please write a letter in response when everything is done, I will try staying at your hotel once again then.
Words: 178Paragraphs: 1
Submitted: 7/15/2023, 01:02 AM

Coherence And Cohesion5.0

The letter presents a clear sequence of complaints, but lacks effective paragraphing and logical connectors, impacting the overall coherence and cohesion.

Recommendations:

  • Use transitional phrases to guide the reader through the problems and solutions, ensuring each point is logically connected to the next.
  • Employ linking words and phrases (e.g., 'furthermore', 'in addition', 'moreover') to enhance the flow between sentences and ideas.
  • Clearly reference the booking details at the beginning to set context, enhancing the logical flow of information.
  • Use clear paragraphing to separate different parts of the letter such as introduction, issues faced, and expected actions.

Lexical Resource5.0

The letter uses basic vocabulary to describe the issues faced during the hotel stay, such as 'thin walls', 'dirty room', and 'air conditioner'. While these terms are relevant, the range of vocabulary is limited, and there is a lack of precise or sophisticated language that could more vividly express the problems encountered. The use of phrases like 'way too dirty' and 'wait forever' are informal and not entirely appropriate for a formal complaint letter. Additionally, the letter lacks variety in word choice, relying on simple adjectives and verbs without exploring more nuanced or descriptive language.

Recommendations:

  • Incorporate more varied and precise vocabulary to describe the issues, such as 'insufficient soundproofing' instead of 'thin walls', or 'unsanitary conditions' instead of 'way too dirty'.
  • Use a wider range of adjectives and adverbs to enhance descriptions, such as 'ineffective air conditioning system' or 'excessive lighting' to provide a clearer picture of the problems.
  • Avoid informal language in a formal complaint letter. Replace phrases like 'way too dirty' and 'wait forever' with more formal expressions, such as 'excessively dirty' and 'considerable delay'.

Grammatical Range5.0

The essay demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures with some errors in sentence construction and punctuation.

Recommendations:

  • Vary sentence structures by incorporating different types of sentences, such as compound and complex sentences, to enhance grammatical variety.
  • Use more complex sentences to improve grammatical range, such as using subordinate clauses or relative clauses.
  • Ensure proper punctuation is used, particularly with commas, to separate clauses and ideas clearly.

Task Achievement5.0

The letter addresses the task prompt by mentioning the issues faced during the stay and suggesting actions for the hotel to take. However, it lacks specific details about the stay such as booking reference and dates, which are essential for full task achievement.

Recommendations:

  • Use a more formal tone and proper letter structure, including a proper salutation and closing, to enhance task achievement.
  • Clearly state the expected actions from the hotel, such as compensation or specific improvements, rather than just mentioning general fixes.
  • Include specific details about the stay such as booking reference and dates to fully meet the task requirements.
GRADED
5.0
Coherence and Cohesion:5.0
Lexical Resource:5.0
Grammatical Range:5.0
Task Achievement:5.0
Band Score:5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5
Logical structure5
Introduction & conclusion present5
Supported main points5
Accurate linking words5
Variety in linking words5
Lexical Resource5
Varied vocabulary5
Accurate spelling & word formation5
Grammatical Range5
Mix of complex & simple sentences5
Clear and correct grammar5
Task Achievement5
Complete response5
Clear & comprehensive ideas5
Relevant & specific examples5
Appropriate word count5
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