BAND 6.0 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: COMPLAINT LETTER TO A HOTEL MANAGER - POOR SERVICE EXPERIENCE & RESOLUTION SUGGESTIONS

Explore our detailed analysis of a Band 6.0 IELTS complaint letter sample, where a hotel guest expresses dissatisfaction with their stay. Uncover vital IELTS writing insights on how to express your concerns effectively, request a refund, and utilize formal language to achieve a Band 6.0 score.

Writing Task

You recently attended a conference in a different city and stayed at a hotel during your visit. The hotel's services and facilities did not meet your expectations, and you faced some issues during your stay. Write a letter to the hotel manager to express your dissatisfaction. In your letter, include: - The dates of your stay and your booking details - The problems you encountered during your stay - What actions you would like the hotel to take to address the issues

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 5.0 Scoring and Feedback

Dear sir/madam I am writing to express my concern about inconvinence accomodation in your hotel from 17th to 20th October. I was invited to attend a confrence in your city and after spending many hours on the internet and reading a numerous comment on the main websites i selected your hotel which had best rate. So i set my date trip and booked a room with sea view. I was supposed to take your cutting edge facilities of your hotel such as indoor pool which was highlited on your website and make use of all inclusiclve drink and beverages that i must have paid extra money Not only was your pool out of service but also your staffs at recipient didn't receive my recipient of my pay and didn't allow me to use beverages. Consequently I contacted your representative and unfortunately he denied the service that i requested. Becauce he said its not hotel's fault and it is my business amd i should have called to my bank. So you can imagine how unhappy I was discovered. Therefore I insist on refunding my extra money and I believe this matter deserves your urgent attention Please look at this matter as soon as possible Your faithfully Mr. Babak
Words: 207Paragraphs: 1
Submitted: 7/23/2023, 06:29 AM

Coherence And Cohesion5.0

The letter has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the coherence is affected by some unclear connections between ideas and the lack of paragraphing. The letter uses some linking words, but they are not always used appropriately or effectively, impacting the overall flow of the text.

Recommendations:

  • Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that sentences within the paragraph support this idea.
  • Use paragraphs to separate different sections of the letter, such as the introduction, details of the stay, problems faced, and requested actions.
  • Improve the use of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more clearly, such as 'firstly', 'secondly', 'in addition', and 'however'.
  • Clarify connections between ideas, such as explaining why the pool being out of service was problematic, and how the staff's actions affected your stay, to enhance coherence.

Lexical Resource5.0

The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary and frequent errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation that impede communication.

Recommendations:

  • Use more precise and varied language to describe issues, such as 'malfunctioning' instead of 'out of service' for facilities.
  • Avoid informal language and contractions in formal letters, such as 'it's' and 'didn't', and use full forms like 'it is' and 'did not'.
  • Expand your vocabulary by learning synonyms and antonyms to avoid repetition and enhance expression, such as using 'inconvenient' instead of 'inconvinence'.
  • Pay attention to spelling errors, especially with commonly used words like 'accommodation', 'conference', 'numerous', and 'inclusive'.

Grammatical Range5.0

The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures with frequent errors in sentence formation, verb tenses, and subject-verb agreement, which impede clarity and coherence.

Recommendations:

  • Ensure subject-verb agreement is consistently correct, especially in sentences with singular and plural subjects.
  • Pay attention to verb tense consistency to maintain clarity in the timeline of events.
  • Use articles correctly ('a', 'an', 'the') to enhance sentence precision and correctness.
  • Review and practice basic sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences, to improve clarity and variety.
  • Proofread for common grammatical errors such as incorrect word forms (e.g., 'inconvinence' should be 'inconvenient', 'accomodation' should be 'accommodation').

Task Achievement5.0

The letter covers all the task requirements by mentioning the dates of stay, booking details, problems encountered, and the actions desired from the hotel. However, the explanation of these points lacks clarity and coherence due to grammatical and spelling issues.

Recommendations:

  • Organize the description of problems encountered in a logical order, ensuring each issue is clearly detailed.
  • Specify the desired actions more explicitly, such as a refund process or compensation, to strengthen the request.
  • Clearly state the booking details, such as the booking confirmation number, to provide precise information.
  • Ensure all task points are expanded with clear examples and explanations to improve clarity and coherence.
GRADED
5.0
Coherence and Cohesion:5.0
Lexical Resource:5.0
Grammatical Range:5.0
Task Achievement:5.0
Band Score:5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5
Logical structure5
Introduction & conclusion present5
Supported main points5
Accurate linking words5
Variety in linking words5
Lexical Resource5
Varied vocabulary5
Accurate spelling & word formation5
Grammatical Range5
Mix of complex & simple sentences5
Clear and correct grammar5
Task Achievement5
Complete response5
Clear & comprehensive ideas5
Relevant & specific examples5
Appropriate word count5
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