BAND 5.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: WRITING A COMPLAINT LETTER TO HOTEL MANAGER - ISSUES FACED DURING PROFESSIONAL CONFERENCE STAY

Explore our Band 5.5 IELTS essay example discussing common issues faced in hotel stays during conferences. Insight into room lighting, internet speed, and food quality concerns. Useful for IELTS preparation and improving your essay writing skills.

Writing Task

You recently attended a professional conference in another city and stayed at a hotel during the event. However, you faced some issues at the hotel which negatively affected your experience. Write a letter to the hotel manager to express your dissatisfaction. In your letter, you should: 1. Describe the conference and your reason for staying at the hotel. 2. Explain the issues you faced during your stay. 3. Suggest possible improvements or compensation from the hotel.

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 5.0 Scoring and Feedback

Hello This is nikou. I have been staying at your hotel for 3 days during my conference.this conference is really important for me. It is related to science of computer. During my stay here i faced some issues which had impact on my work. I am going to stay here for 3 days since now so i would appreciate it if you can solve the problems for me. The first issue is about the conference room which is really dark and make everyone sleepy. I would like it to be more bright during the meetings. The second one is about the internet connection which is very low and impacts the speed of the meeting. The third and last one is about the food. I thought that the quality of the foods in five star hotel should be better than this. Yesterday we ordered fish and chips but it was spoiled and it had bad smell. So it would be great if you ponder about these things in next 3 days. Thank you for your attention and help.
Words: 177Paragraphs: 1
Submitted: 7/17/2023, 01:56 PM

Coherence And Cohesion5.0

The essay presents information in a generally logical sequence, but lacks clear paragraphing and cohesive devices, making it difficult to follow the flow of ideas.

Recommendations:

  • Use pronouns and referencing words effectively to avoid repetition and to maintain cohesion.
  • Incorporate linking words and phrases to connect ideas and sentences, such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'Furthermore', and 'In addition'.
  • Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that sentences within the paragraph support that idea cohesively.
  • Use clear paragraphing to separate different sections of the letter, such as introduction, description of issues, and suggestions for improvement.

Lexical Resource5.0

The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary sufficient to convey the main ideas, but lacks variety and precision in lexical choices. There is an overuse of simple words and phrases, and some errors in word choice and formality level.

Recommendations:

  • Incorporate more descriptive adjectives to enhance clarity and detail, such as specifying 'internet connection' as 'unreliable internet connection.'
  • Expand your vocabulary range by incorporating more varied and precise words. For example, instead of 'really dark,' consider using 'insufficiently lit' or 'poorly illuminated.'
  • Avoid repetition by using synonyms or different expressions to articulate the same idea. For instance, instead of repeating 'issues,' use alternatives like 'problems' or 'concerns.'
  • Ensure the use of formal language appropriate for a letter to a hotel manager. Replace informal phrases like 'Hello' with 'Dear Sir/Madam' and 'ponder about' with 'consider.'

Grammatical Range4.0

The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures with frequent errors that may impede understanding. Simple sentence structures are predominantly used, and there is a lack of complex sentences.

Recommendations:

  • Ensure subject-verb agreement is maintained throughout, such as in 'make everyone sleepy', which should be 'makes everyone sleepy'.
  • Pay attention to verb tenses to maintain consistency, for example, use 'I stayed' instead of 'I have been staying' when referring to a past event.
  • Improve punctuation, particularly with capitalizing the first word in sentences and proper nouns, like 'This is Nikou' instead of 'This is nikou'.
  • Incorporate a variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences, to demonstrate a wider grammatical range.
  • Use articles correctly, such as 'the conference' instead of 'this conference' when it has already been mentioned.

Task Achievement5.0

The essay addresses the task prompt by identifying the purpose of the stay, outlining specific issues faced during the stay, and suggesting improvements. However, it lacks detail and clarity in parts, making it difficult to fully understand the context and impact of the issues described.

Recommendations:

  • Provide more specific details about the conference, such as its name or significance, to better establish the context and importance of your stay.
  • Offer more concrete suggestions for improvements, such as specific changes to lighting or internet speed requirements, and consider suggesting a form of compensation, like a discount or complimentary service.
  • Clearly outline each issue with more detail, explaining how each problem specifically affected your conference experience.
GRADED
5.0
Coherence and Cohesion:5.0
Lexical Resource:5.0
Grammatical Range:4.0
Task Achievement:5.0
Band Score:5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5
Logical structure5
Introduction & conclusion present5
Supported main points5
Accurate linking words5
Variety in linking words5
Lexical Resource5
Varied vocabulary5
Accurate spelling & word formation5
Grammatical Range4
Mix of complex & simple sentences4
Clear and correct grammar4
Task Achievement5
Complete response5
Clear & comprehensive ideas5
Relevant & specific examples5
Appropriate word count5
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