BAND 5.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: LETTER TO MANAGER ABOUT UNPROFESSIONAL JOB INTERVIEW EXPERIENCE & SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT

Explore this IELTS essay sample that scored a Band 5.5, highlighting issues faced during an interview process. Ideal for those preparing for their IELTS exam and seeking to understand scoring techniques. Improve your English language skills with our professional coaching tips.

Writing Task

You recently attended a job interview for a position you were excited about. However, you believe that the interviewer was unprofessional and the process was unfair. Write a letter to the company's manager to express your concerns. In your letter: - Describe the job interview and the position you applied for - Explain why you think the interviewer was unprofessional - Suggest what can be done to improve the interview process in the future

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 5.0 Scoring and Feedback

Dear Sir/Madam, Hope this email finds you well. Please be informed that I just had an interview with one of the staff there in you in your institute for English teaching position. I took about half an hour. She asked me several questions first that I tried to answer completely. But some questions were really irrelevant which I had hard time to answer and I was reluctant to answer. So I directly asked her to change the question that I faced her anger and she suddenly stopped the interview. With all due respect, you are kindly requested to take care of such problems, since these matters will make the interview difficult to proceed and unprofessional. For having fair and professional interviews with applicants, please manage in a way that more professional and experienced interviewers be selected to avoid such chaos and confusion on interview process. Thank you in advance for your kind attention. Best regards, Sarah
Words: 156Paragraphs: 1
Submitted: 7/21/2023, 06:17 AM

Coherence And Cohesion5.0

The essay presents a basic structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, it lacks effective use of cohesive devices and clear progression of ideas, leading to a somewhat disjointed flow.

Recommendations:

  • Use reference words like 'this', 'these', 'such', etc., to refer back to previous ideas, enhancing cohesion.
  • Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs more effectively, such as 'Firstly', 'Moreover', 'As a result', etc.
  • Avoid abrupt transitions and ensure each sentence or point is fully developed before moving to the next.
  • Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that each idea logically follows the previous one to improve the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource5.0

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary and occasionally repeats words, which may hinder the clarity and precision of the intended message. There is some attempt to use less common vocabulary, but it is not always used accurately or appropriately.

Recommendations:

  • Use more collocations and idiomatic expressions where appropriate to enhance the naturalness of the language.
  • Expand your vocabulary range by learning synonyms and varied expressions to avoid repetition of words like 'interview,' 'professional,' and 'questions.'
  • Incorporate more precise and varied language to describe emotions and actions, such as using 'inappropriate' instead of 'irrelevant' for questions and 'abruptly ended' instead of 'suddenly stopped.'

Grammatical Range5.0

The essay demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures with frequent errors in sentence structure, verb tense, and word choice, affecting clarity and coherence.

Recommendations:

  • Use more complex sentence structures to enhance grammatical range, such as conditional sentences or relative clauses.
  • Ensure consistent verb tense usage throughout the letter, as seen in 'I had hard time to answer' which should be 'I had a hard time answering'.
  • Use appropriate word forms and prepositions, for example, 'manage in a way that more professional and experienced interviewers be selected' could be 'manage the interviews so that more professional and experienced interviewers are selected.'
  • Work on correcting subject-verb agreement errors, such as 'you in your institute' which should be 'your institute'.
  • Improve sentence structure by avoiding run-on sentences, for example, 'I took about half an hour. She asked me several questions first that I tried to answer completely.' could be revised for clarity.

Task Achievement5.0

The letter addresses the task prompt by describing the job interview for an English teaching position, explaining the perceived unprofessional behavior of the interviewer, and suggesting improvements for future interviews. However, the description of the interview and the specific issues encountered are somewhat vague, lacking detail and clarity.

Recommendations:

  • Provide more specific details about the interview process, such as the exact nature of the irrelevant questions and how they were unrelated to the position applied for.
  • Offer a clearer explanation of why the interviewer's behavior was considered unprofessional, perhaps by describing specific actions or words used during the interview.
  • Enhance the suggestions for improvement by providing more concrete and actionable recommendations, such as specific training or guidelines for interviewers.
GRADED
5.0
Coherence and Cohesion:5.0
Lexical Resource:5.0
Grammatical Range:5.0
Task Achievement:5.0
Band Score:5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5
Logical structure5
Introduction & conclusion present5
Supported main points5
Accurate linking words5
Variety in linking words5
Lexical Resource5
Varied vocabulary5
Accurate spelling & word formation5
Grammatical Range5
Mix of complex & simple sentences5
Clear and correct grammar5
Task Achievement5
Complete response5
Clear & comprehensive ideas5
Relevant & specific examples5
Appropriate word count5
Grade Your Essay