BAND 5.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: COMPLAINT LETTER TO STORE MANAGER ABOUT A DAMAGED PRODUCT - MODEL IELTS WRITING TASK SOLUTION

Discover a valuable IELTS band 5.5 essay sample focused on a customer complaint about a faulty LED TV. Improve your writing skills, learn how to properly express dissatisfaction in a formal tone, and navigate an exchange or return request effectively. Explore more IELTS sample essays on our site.

Writing Task

You recently purchased a product from a local store and discovered that it was damaged when you got home. Write a letter to the store manager to inform them about the situation. In your letter, include: - A description of the product you purchased - The issue you discovered upon opening the package - Your proposed solution to resolve the problem

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 5.0 Scoring and Feedback

Dear sir, I purchased an LED Tv from your store a few days ago. Unfortunately i didnot open the box till today. After unboxing we noticed the power isnot working. In fact it doesnt turn on . Since this product has gurrantee i expect you to examine and do something according to usual regulations. In advance i thank you for your attention. Please let me know what i should do now to fix the problem . I will be happy if i can returm it back and you deliver a new TV. Would you please send me the list of other products including their details? May be i have to choose another TV brand . Really i amnot optimistic about the TV i bought and i would rather to change it with another one. Hiwever i am waiting to recieve your email . Thanks in advance for your prompt answer.
Words: 150Paragraphs: 1
Submitted: 7/17/2023, 04:48 PM

Coherence And Cohesion5.0

The letter lacks clear organization and logical progression of ideas, which affects its coherence and cohesion. The sequence of information is somewhat jumbled and lacks clear paragraphing, making it difficult to follow the writer's thought process.

Recommendations:

  • Avoid abrupt topic shifts within the same paragraph, such as moving from discussing the issue to requesting a list of products without a proper transition.
  • Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas and sentences more smoothly, such as 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' 'Additionally,' and 'Finally.'
  • Ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one to improve the overall flow of the letter.
  • Organize the letter into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific point: introduction and purpose, description of the product and issue, proposed solution, and closing remarks.

Lexical Resource5.0

The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with several instances of incorrect word forms and spelling errors.

Recommendations:

  • Use more precise and varied adjectives to describe the product and the issue, such as 'malfunctioning' instead of 'not working'.
  • Incorporate more formal expressions suitable for a letter to a store manager, such as 'I would appreciate it if you could...' instead of 'I will be happy if...'.
  • Expand your vocabulary range by learning synonyms and different word forms to express ideas more precisely and avoid repetition.
  • Focus on correct spelling, particularly for common words such as 'TV', 'guarantee', 'return', 'receive', and 'however'.

Grammatical Range5.0

The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures with noticeable errors in sentence construction, punctuation, and verb forms.

Recommendations:

  • Pay attention to capitalization, especially with pronouns and proper nouns, such as 'i' should be 'I' and 'Tv' should be 'TV.'
  • Ensure correct verb forms and tense consistency throughout the essay. For example, 'Hiwever i am waiting to recieve your email .' should be 'However, I am waiting to receive your email.'
  • Incorporate a variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences, to enhance grammatical range.
  • Improve sentence construction by ensuring each sentence has a clear subject and verb. For example, 'Unfortunately i didnot open the box till today.' should be 'Unfortunately, I did not open the box until today.'
  • Use appropriate punctuation to separate ideas and clauses. For example, 'In fact it doesnt turn on .' should be 'In fact, it doesn't turn on.'

Task Achievement5.0

The letter covers the essential points of the task prompt by describing the purchased product, the issue discovered, and proposing a solution. However, the details are somewhat vague, and the request for a solution is not clearly articulated.

Recommendations:

  • Include a polite closing statement that reinforces the request for a resolution and expresses appreciation for the manager's assistance.
  • Provide a more detailed description of the product, including specific details like brand, model, or size, to help the store manager identify the exact item.
  • Articulate a clear and specific proposed solution, such as a refund, replacement, or repair, and ensure it aligns with the store's return policy.
  • Clearly specify the issue with the product, using precise language to describe the problem with the power not working.
GRADED
5.0
Coherence and Cohesion:5.0
Lexical Resource:5.0
Grammatical Range:5.0
Task Achievement:5.0
Band Score:5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5
Logical structure5
Introduction & conclusion present5
Supported main points5
Accurate linking words5
Variety in linking words5
Lexical Resource5
Varied vocabulary5
Accurate spelling & word formation5
Grammatical Range5
Mix of complex & simple sentences5
Clear and correct grammar5
Task Achievement5
Complete response5
Clear & comprehensive ideas5
Relevant & specific examples5
Appropriate word count5
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