BAND 5.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: COMPLAINT LETTER TO CONFERENCE CENTER REGARDING POOR FOOD QUALITY.

Explore our IELTS essay sample with a band score of 5.5. Learn about the concerns regarding food quality at a conference and how it can affect the overall experience. Get insights on how to construct an effective complaint letter for your IELTS writing task.

Writing Task

You recently attended a conference and found the quality of the food in the conference center to be very poor. Write a letter to the conference center manager complaining about the food quality. In your letter: - Describe the problem in detail - Explain how it affected your experience of the conference - Suggest possible improvements for future conferences

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 5.0 Scoring and Feedback

Dear Manager, I am writing to you regarding the latest conference very low quality food. After all, the food which was served by the conference center make me feel sick, and after eating the food, I was about to throw it up. As a result, I could not concentrate on the conference no longer. It had a negative effect on my consciousness, and I wanted to finish the conference as soon as possible. I have never been in such condition, and it left me a bad experience. When ever I bear in mind regarding the conference, it reminds me a horrible situation. I never expected such a bad experience there, so in order to not happen such inconvenience I would be grateful if you could supervise more on the quality of food being served and the hygience of all the personals working there. It makes that I regain my previous positive point of view of attending next conference. yours sincerely
Words: 160Paragraphs: 6
Submitted: 7/19/2023, 08:52 PM

Coherence And Cohesion5.0

The letter demonstrates a basic level of coherence and cohesion. The ideas are organized into paragraphs, each addressing different parts of the prompt. However, there are noticeable issues with logical flow and linking between sentences and ideas, which affects the overall readability and clarity of the letter.

Recommendations:

  • Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within the paragraph support this idea. For instance, the paragraph about the effects of the food on the conference experience could be expanded to include more details about specific impacts.
  • Work on maintaining a consistent tone and style throughout the letter. Ensure that the transition between the problem description, its effects, and suggestions for improvement is smooth and logical.
  • Improve the use of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more logically and clearly between and within sentences. For example, use 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' and 'Finally,' to organize the suggestions more effectively.

Lexical Resource5.0

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary with several instances of incorrect word choices and repetitive language, which affects clarity and precision.

Recommendations:

  • Use more varied and appropriate adjectives, such as 'substandard' instead of 'very low quality,' and 'unpleasant' instead of 'bad.'
  • Incorporate synonyms to avoid repetition, for example, use 'dissatisfied' instead of 'not happy' and 'unpalatable' instead of 'poor quality.'
  • Expand vocabulary to express ideas more precisely, avoiding repetitive phrases such as 'very low quality food' and 'bad experience.'
  • Correct word choice errors, such as 'hygience' to 'hygiene' and 'personals' to 'personnel.'

Grammatical Range5.0

The essay demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures but lacks complexity and contains several errors that impede clarity.

Recommendations:

  • Review punctuation use, such as commas and apostrophes, to avoid run-on sentences and ensure clarity.
  • Ensure subject-verb agreement and proper tense usage, e.g., 'the food which was served by the conference center make me feel sick' should be 'made me feel sick.'
  • Pay attention to singular and plural forms, such as 'personals' which should be 'personnel.'
  • Use conjunctions and transitional phrases more effectively to improve sentence flow and coherence, such as 'After all' and 'When ever.'
  • Improve sentence structure by using more complex sentences, such as compound and complex sentences, to enhance the grammatical range.

Task Achievement5.0

The letter addresses the task prompt by describing the problem with the food quality, explaining its impact on the conference experience, and suggesting improvements. However, it lacks sufficient detail and clarity in some areas, affecting the overall achievement of the task.

Recommendations:

  • Provide more specific details about the food quality issues, such as what was wrong with the food (e.g., taste, temperature, freshness).
  • Include more information on how the poor food quality affected your experience, such as specific aspects of the conference that were missed or hindered.
  • Offer more concrete suggestions for improvement, such as specific actions the manager could take to ensure better food quality in the future.
GRADED
5.0
Coherence and Cohesion:5.0
Lexical Resource:5.0
Grammatical Range:5.0
Task Achievement:5.0
Band Score:5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5
Logical structure5
Introduction & conclusion present5
Supported main points5
Accurate linking words5
Variety in linking words5
Lexical Resource5
Varied vocabulary5
Accurate spelling & word formation5
Grammatical Range5
Mix of complex & simple sentences5
Clear and correct grammar5
Task Achievement5
Complete response5
Clear & comprehensive ideas5
Relevant & specific examples5
Appropriate word count5
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