BAND 4.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: WRITING A COMPLAINT LETTER ABOUT TRAINING COURSE & HOTEL STAY PROBLEMS

Explore this Band 4.5 IELTS essay sample detailing the experiences of a course attendee. Discover insights into managing logistics, venue location, transport issues, meeting new people and hotel accommodations. A valuable reference for learners and IELTS aspirants.

Writing Task

You recently attended a two-day training course organized by your company. The course was held at a different location, and you stayed in a hotel during the training. However, you faced several issues during your stay and the course. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter, you should: - Give details about the course you attended - Describe the problems you faced during the stay at the hotel - Suggest what improvements can be made for future courses

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 5.0 Scoring and Feedback

Hi,Mr boss I appreciate you for this course that you managed for us but I have some suggestions for you.first of all the place was too far and I wasn't comfortable so for the next time location is better to be near to the course .by the way course was absolutely good and I learned new things that I have never known anything about them.inthe way to return to the hotel the taxi or cars wasn't there and I am sorry to say that but I stayed there for more than 2 hours for returning to the hotel and that was ridiculous.some strange peoples were there that I have never ever met them so my second suggestion is that you plan meeting for people that would be in such courses. The food and hotel was good but they don't pay attention to the guests. And I think it isn't interesting.
Words: 150Paragraphs: 1
Submitted: 7/15/2023, 05:42 AM

Coherence And Cohesion4.5

The letter addresses the prompt but lacks clear organization and logical progression of ideas. Sentences often run together without appropriate punctuation, making it difficult to follow the writer's train of thought. Paragraphing is absent, which affects the clarity and cohesion of the response.

Recommendations:

  • Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to introduce the main idea.
  • Vary sentence structures to improve flow and readability, avoiding overly long or run-on sentences.
  • Use paragraphs to separate different parts of the letter: one for details about the course, one for hotel issues, and one for suggestions.
  • Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between sentences, such as 'however,' 'in addition,' and 'therefore.'

Lexical Resource5.0

The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary with several errors and informal language that affect clarity and appropriateness for a formal letter to a manager.

Recommendations:

  • Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly, such as 'Additionally,' 'Furthermore,' and 'In conclusion,' to enhance coherence and cohesion.
  • Avoid informal expressions and contractions, such as 'Hi, Mr boss' and 'wasn't,' in favor of more formal language like 'Dear Mr. [Last Name]' and 'was not.'
  • Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to describe experiences and suggestions, such as 'inconvenient location' instead of 'the place was too far.'
  • Improve word choice accuracy by using correct forms and collocations, e.g., 'I was uncomfortable' instead of 'I wasn't comfortable.'
  • Use more formal and precise vocabulary appropriate for a letter to a manager, such as 'I would like to express my gratitude for organizing the course' instead of 'I appreciate you for this course.'

Grammatical Range4.5

The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, with frequent errors in sentence structure, punctuation, and verb agreement, affecting clarity and coherence.

Recommendations:

  • Pay attention to subject-verb agreement to ensure grammatical accuracy.
  • Improve punctuation usage, particularly with commas and periods, to correctly separate ideas and enhance readability.
  • Use a variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences, to enhance grammatical range.
  • Use appropriate conjunctions to connect ideas and improve sentence flow.

Task Achievement5.0

The letter addresses all parts of the task prompt, providing details about the course, describing issues faced during the hotel stay, and suggesting improvements for future courses.

Recommendations:

  • Provide more specific details about the course, such as its name, purpose, or key topics covered, to enhance clarity and completeness.
  • Elaborate on the problems faced at the hotel with specific examples or incidents to strengthen the description of issues.
  • Offer more detailed and practical suggestions for improvements, such as specific locations closer to the course venue or better transportation arrangements.
GRADED
5.0
Coherence and Cohesion:4.5
Lexical Resource:5.0
Grammatical Range:4.5
Task Achievement:5.0
Band Score:5.0
Coherence and Cohesion4.5
Logical structure4
Introduction & conclusion present4
Supported main points5
Accurate linking words4
Variety in linking words5
Lexical Resource5
Varied vocabulary5
Accurate spelling & word formation5
Grammatical Range4.5
Mix of complex & simple sentences4
Clear and correct grammar5
Task Achievement5
Complete response5
Clear & comprehensive ideas5
Relevant & specific examples5
Appropriate word count5
Grade Your Essay