BAND 5.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: COMPOSING A COMPLAINT LETTER FOR DAMAGED ONLINE PURCHASE

Explore our IELTS Band 5.5 essay sample dealing with a consumer issue: A phone not working properly. It's an ideal study resource for those preparing for their IELTS, providing insights into complaint and request language for IELTS writing tasks.

Writing Task

You recently purchased an item online, but when it arrived, you found that it was damaged. Write a letter to the company where you bought the item. Include the following in your letter: - Describe the item that you purchased - Explain the problem with the item - Suggest what you would like the company to do about the issue

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 4.0 Scoring and Feedback

Hello dear last week l bought phone as your company but unfortunatly it isnt functioning you know i cant conection to the internet and thats not possible to repair it couse of i dont have enough expert to do that but i think it will go back to setting now i want to production way for you to solve my problem: you can fix it and give me my own phone but i need it and you should do that urgency or if its possible chage and give me a new one on top of that refund it for me and give back my money, i payed lump sum money but attention i dont have receipt. As i said im in a hurry for that couse i want to migration to another country and specially are in seasonal discount and now i can afford to buy a thish commodity again. Thank you for your time.
Words: 155Paragraphs: 1
Submitted: 7/17/2023, 05:22 PM

Coherence And Cohesion4.0

The essay lacks clear structure and logical sequencing, making it difficult to follow the writer's argument or request effectively. There are abrupt transitions between ideas, and paragraphs are not used effectively to separate different parts of the letter. The use of cohesive devices is limited and often incorrect, which affects the overall coherence of the essay.

Recommendations:

  • Use linking words and phrases to connect sentences and ideas more smoothly, such as 'Firstly', 'Additionally', 'Therefore', and 'In conclusion'.
  • Rephrase sentences to clarify ideas and ensure each sentence contributes to the overall coherence of the letter.
  • Organize the letter into clear paragraphs, each addressing a specific part of the task: description of the item, explanation of the problem, and suggested solutions.
  • Ensure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next, maintaining a clear progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource4.0

The essay demonstrates limited lexical resource, with a restricted range of vocabulary and several inaccuracies in word choice and spelling.

Recommendations:

  • Use more precise language to describe the item and the situation, such as 'non-functional' instead of 'isn't functioning'.
  • Avoid informal language and contractions in formal letters, such as 'cant' and 'wanna'. Use 'cannot' and 'want to' instead.
  • Expand your vocabulary by reading more English material and practicing the use of new words in context.
  • Be careful with spelling errors, such as 'unfortunatly' and 'couse'. Use spell-check tools to help identify mistakes.
  • Learn and practice synonyms to avoid repetition, such as using 'return' instead of 'go back' and 'urgent' instead of 'urgency'.

Grammatical Range3.0

The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures with frequent errors in sentence formation, punctuation, and verb usage, which often impede communication.

Recommendations:

  • Improve punctuation usage, especially with commas and periods, to clearly separate ideas and clauses.
  • Focus on correct verb forms and tenses to ensure clarity, such as using 'bought' instead of 'buyed' and 'paid' instead of 'payed.'
  • Work on sentence structure to ensure sentences are complete with a subject and a verb, and avoid run-on sentences.
  • Practice using complex sentences to enhance grammatical range, ensuring correct use of conjunctions and relative clauses.

Task Achievement4.0

The letter addresses the task requirements by describing the purchased item, explaining the problem, and suggesting actions for the company to take. However, the description of the item is vague, and the explanation of the problem lacks clarity. The suggestions for resolution are present but not clearly structured or prioritized.

Recommendations:

  • Organize the suggestions for resolution in a clear and logical manner, specifying the preferred course of action and any alternatives.
  • Ensure all parts of the task are addressed with sufficient detail to fully meet the task requirements.
  • Clearly describe the item purchased, including its make, model, or any specific features to provide a clear context to the company.
  • Provide a detailed explanation of the problem with the item, including specific issues encountered, to help the company understand the situation better.
GRADED
4.0
Coherence and Cohesion:4.0
Lexical Resource:4.0
Grammatical Range:3.0
Task Achievement:4.0
Band Score:4.0
Coherence and Cohesion4
Logical structure4
Introduction & conclusion present3
Supported main points4
Accurate linking words4
Variety in linking words4
Lexical Resource4
Varied vocabulary4
Accurate spelling & word formation4
Grammatical Range3
Mix of complex & simple sentences3
Clear and correct grammar3
Task Achievement4
Complete response4
Clear & comprehensive ideas4
Relevant & specific examples4
Appropriate word count4
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