BAND 5.0 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: ARTICULATING CONCERNS ABOUT UNPROFESSIONAL JOB INTERVIEW PROCESS

Explore our collection of Band 5.0 IELTS essay samples to improve your writing skills. Get insights into handling interview questions, portraying research aptitude, and showcasing motivation, essential for professional growth.

Writing Task

You recently attended a job interview for a position you were excited about. However, you believe that the interviewer was unprofessional and the process was unfair. Write a letter to the company's manager to express your concerns. In your letter: - Describe the job interview and the position you applied for - Explain why you think the interviewer was unprofessional - Suggest what can be done to improve the interview process in the future

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 4.0 Scoring and Feedback

Hi I had applied for a position that you suggested. As i love searching and learning new thing, i was excited about this job. But during the enterview session, i felt the interviewee didn't really seek for an researchers! She only focused on my social skills as if looking forward for a receptionist and i thing it isn't fair. you should notice on some others skills such as motivation and researchable attitude if you need ptofessional experts. I'm afraid I'm not and an extroverted person with any interest in social activities. But if you want to find a motivate clerk at you company, I'm the one you can choice. After all i'll enjoy to get this job and i'll try to do my best. You had better to change your concerns about this position to earn best result. In the end I appreciate your efforts to help all of us
Words: 150Paragraphs: 1
Submitted: 7/19/2023, 06:40 AM

Coherence And Cohesion4.0

The essay lacks clear structure and logical progression of ideas, leading to confusion and difficulty in following the writer's argument.

Recommendations:

  • Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas and guide the reader through your argument, such as 'Firstly,' 'Additionally,' 'However,' and 'In conclusion.'
  • Ensure that pronouns and references are clear to avoid ambiguity, such as clearly identifying who 'she' refers to in the context of the interview.
  • Use clear paragraphing to separate different parts of the letter, such as describing the interview, explaining the unprofessional behavior, and suggesting improvements.
  • Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that sentences within a paragraph logically follow one another.

Lexical Resource4.0

The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary with several errors in word choice, spelling, and word forms, which hinder clarity and precision.

Recommendations:

  • Use more precise words related to the job application context, such as 'candidate' instead of 'interviewee' and 'qualities' instead of 'skills' where applicable.
  • Ensure correct word forms are used, such as 'motivated' instead of 'motivate' and 'choosing' instead of 'choice' to improve grammatical accuracy.
  • Incorporate more complex lexical phrases and collocations to convey ideas more effectively, like 'professional demeanor' instead of 'unprofessional' and 'selection criteria' instead of 'concerns about this position.'
  • Expand your vocabulary by reading more in English and practicing using new words in context to improve word choice and variety.
  • Pay attention to spelling errors such as 'enterview' instead of 'interview' and 'thing' instead of 'think' to enhance clarity.

Grammatical Range3.0

The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, with frequent errors in sentence construction, punctuation, and verb forms, which impede clarity and coherence.

Recommendations:

  • Use a variety of sentence types, including complex and compound sentences, to enhance grammatical range.
  • Pay attention to punctuation and capitalization, such as starting sentences with a capital letter and proper use of commas.
  • Practice using modal verbs correctly, e.g., 'should focus on' instead of 'should notice on'.
  • Work on sentence structure to ensure each sentence has a clear subject and verb agreement.
  • Improve verb forms and tense consistency, such as using 'interview' instead of 'enterview' and 'think' instead of 'thing'.

Task Achievement4.0

The letter attempts to address the task prompt by describing the job interview experience and expressing concerns about the interviewer's professionalism. However, it lacks clarity and detail, particularly in identifying the specific position applied for and providing concrete examples of unprofessional behavior. The suggestions for improvement are vague and not clearly articulated.

Recommendations:

  • Offer clear and actionable suggestions for improving the interview process, such as specific skills or qualities the interviewer should focus on.
  • Ensure the tone of the letter is formal and respectful, as it is addressed to a company's manager.
  • Clearly state the position you applied for to provide context for your concerns.
  • Provide specific examples of unprofessional behavior during the interview to strengthen your argument.
GRADED
4.0
Coherence and Cohesion:4.0
Lexical Resource:4.0
Grammatical Range:3.0
Task Achievement:4.0
Band Score:4.0
Coherence and Cohesion4
Logical structure3
Introduction & conclusion present4
Supported main points4
Accurate linking words4
Variety in linking words4
Lexical Resource4
Varied vocabulary4
Accurate spelling & word formation4
Grammatical Range3
Mix of complex & simple sentences3
Clear and correct grammar3
Task Achievement4
Complete response4
Clear & comprehensive ideas4
Relevant & specific examples4
Appropriate word count4
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