BAND 4.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: REVIEW AND FEEDBACK ON TRAINING COURSE - IMPROVEMENTS, EXPERIENCE, AND RECOMMENDATION

Explore our band 4.5 score IELTS essay sample documenting personal growth in English grammar skills. Discover insights on the effectiveness of English courses, teacher influence, and course facilities. Ideal for IELTS test prep and language learners.

Writing Task

You recently attended a training course in a different city, and now you have received an email from the course provider asking for your feedback. The course provider is interested in understanding the positive aspects of the course, any areas of improvement, and your overall experience. Write a letter to the course provider. In your letter, include: - Details about the course you attended - What you enjoyed or found useful during the course - Suggestions for areas of improvement - Your overall experience and whether you would recommend the course to others.

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 4.0 Scoring and Feedback

Hi I regesterd my on english course , that course was about how we can improve our grammer skils , actually before that course , i had many problems about using grammatical points in my writings or my speaking skills , but gradually after five or seven session i got better , and i understood to grammatical pints in proper way , and in my oponion , the interesting part of our course was our teachers , because they were really patient and commitment . About the course facilities , it could be better , beacause we hadn't enough viasual and auditory equipments for all students , and maybe it has bad effects on the institution educational methds , but thoroughly it was a helpful course , and i can see it productivity in my engliah , and of course I recommed this kinds of course to my frindes and relatives .
Words: 152Paragraphs: 1
Submitted: 7/23/2023, 11:09 AM

Coherence And Cohesion4.0

The essay attempts to address the task prompt but lacks clear organization and logical progression of ideas. Sentences are often joined with commas, leading to run-on sentences that hinder readability. Additionally, there is a lack of paragraphing, which affects the overall coherence of the essay.

Recommendations:

  • Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph.
  • Avoid run-on sentences by using appropriate punctuation and conjunctions to connect ideas logically.
  • Use linking words and cohesive devices (e.g., 'Firstly', 'Moreover', 'However') to guide the reader through the essay and improve the flow of ideas.
  • Use clear paragraphing to separate different parts of the essay, such as course details, positive aspects, areas for improvement, and overall experience.

Lexical Resource4.0

The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary with some attempts at using less common lexical items. However, there are frequent spelling errors and incorrect word choices that affect clarity.

Recommendations:

  • Expand your vocabulary by learning synonyms and using them appropriately to avoid repetition, such as using 'enrolled' instead of 'registered' or 'instructors' instead of 'teachers'.
  • Use collocations and phrases accurately, such as 'improve grammar skills' instead of 'improve our grammar skills', and 'course facilities' instead of 'the course facilities'.
  • Incorporate more varied and precise vocabulary to express ideas, such as 'insufficient' instead of 'hadn't enough' or 'impact' instead of 'effects'.
  • Focus on improving spelling accuracy, particularly with words like 'registered', 'grammar', 'skills', 'visual', 'equipment', 'methods', 'productivity', 'English', 'recommend', and 'friends'.

Grammatical Range3.0

The essay demonstrates a limited grammatical range with frequent errors in sentence structure, verb forms, and punctuation, which hinder clarity and coherence.

Recommendations:

  • Focus on punctuation, especially comma usage, to improve sentence readability.
  • Expand vocabulary to reduce repetition and enhance expression.
  • Improve sentence structure by practicing complex and compound sentences to enhance clarity and coherence.
  • Work on verb forms and tense consistency to avoid confusion and errors.

Task Achievement4.0

The letter addresses all parts of the task prompt, providing details about the course attended, positive aspects, areas for improvement, and overall experience. However, it lacks clarity and specificity in some areas, particularly in describing the course and offering suggestions for improvement.

Recommendations:

  • Ensure the letter is clearly structured, with separate paragraphs for each point to enhance clarity and coherence in addressing the task requirements.
  • Provide specific details about the course, such as the name or type of course, to clearly fulfill the task requirement of detailing the course attended.
  • Enhance specificity in the feedback by giving concrete examples of what was learned or improved during the course.
  • Offer more precise suggestions for improvement, such as what specific facilities or equipment were lacking and how they impacted the learning experience.
GRADED
4.0
Coherence and Cohesion:4.0
Lexical Resource:4.0
Grammatical Range:3.0
Task Achievement:4.0
Band Score:4.0
Coherence and Cohesion4
Logical structure4
Introduction & conclusion present4
Supported main points4
Accurate linking words4
Variety in linking words4
Lexical Resource4
Varied vocabulary4
Accurate spelling & word formation4
Grammatical Range3
Mix of complex & simple sentences3
Clear and correct grammar3
Task Achievement4
Complete response4
Clear & comprehensive ideas4
Relevant & specific examples4
Appropriate word count4
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