BAND 5.0 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: WRITING A COMPLAINT LETTER TO RESTAURANT MANAGER FOR UNPLEASANT DINING EXPERIENCE

Explore our IELTS essay sample that scored a band 5.0. This candid review of an unsatisfactory restaurant experience provides invaluable insights into improving customer service in hospitality. Dive into this realistic account emphasizing food quality, service delivery, and cleanliness to enhance your IELTS writing skills.

Writing Task

You recently visited a restaurant with your family for a special dinner but had an unpleasant experience. Write a letter to the restaurant manager, detailing your experience. In your letter: - Explain the reason for the special dinner - Describe the issues you encountered during the visit - Suggest what the restaurant can do to improve its service and ensure such situations do not occur in the future.

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 3.0 Scoring and Feedback

Hummm hello . I'm a fluence has an unpleasant experience in your restaurant . Maybe you don't know more problem in your restauran such as server , items or food . I don't like vegetable in my specia dinner , it doesn't delicious and fresh . Fruits don't clean and has decorate pretty . Beside my family has 5 members but server has only bring to us 4 dinnerware set . I feel unpleasant about it . Next , the table where my family sit in don't clean and we call a server many times but she don't hear and she can't understand to explain for us . So is a restaurant manager you must teach for servers many things about clien and inprove anything . In the future i maybe comback to your restaurant and hope you can exchange . Thank you listening and wish restaurant will develop .
Words: 150Paragraphs: 2
Submitted: 7/15/2023, 03:24 PM

Coherence And Cohesion3.0

The letter lacks coherence and cohesion due to poor organization and unclear linking between ideas. Sentences are disjointed, and there is a lack of logical progression throughout the essay.

Recommendations:

  • Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence to introduce the main idea of that section.
  • Avoid abrupt transitions and ensure that each sentence flows logically from the one before it.
  • Organize the letter into clear paragraphs, each addressing a specific aspect of the task: reason for the dinner, issues encountered, and suggestions for improvement.
  • Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between sentences, such as 'firstly', 'moreover', 'however', and 'finally'.

Lexical Resource3.0

The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary with frequent errors in word choice and word formation, affecting clarity and communication. Basic vocabulary is used repetitively, and there is a lack of precision in expressing ideas.

Recommendations:

  • Incorporate more descriptive adjectives and adverbs to enhance the quality of descriptions, such as 'unpleasant' instead of 'not delicious'.
  • Practice using collocations and phrases that are commonly used in formal letters, such as 'I am writing to express my dissatisfaction' instead of 'Hummm hello . I'm a fluence has an unpleasant experience'.
  • Expand your vocabulary by learning synonyms and practicing their use in context to avoid repetition and improve clarity.
  • Focus on correct word formation, such as using 'fluency' instead of 'fluence', and ensure the correct form of words is used in context.

Grammatical Range2.0

The essay demonstrates limited grammatical range and accuracy. There are frequent grammatical errors that impede communication, including incorrect verb forms, sentence structures, and lack of subject-verb agreement.

Recommendations:

  • Use complete sentences with clear subject and predicate to improve readability (e.g., 'Hummm hello' is not a complete sentence).
  • Work on sentence structure to avoid run-on sentences and fragments (e.g., 'Beside my family has 5 members but server has only bring to us 4 dinnerware set' should be split into two sentences).
  • Focus on subject-verb agreement, ensuring that verbs match their subjects in number and person (e.g., 'server has only bring' should be 'server only brought').
  • Improve verb tense consistency, using past tense for past events (e.g., 'I'm a fluence has' should be 'I had').
  • Use appropriate articles ('a', 'an', 'the') to specify nouns correctly (e.g., 'in my specia dinner' should be 'in my special dinner').

Task Achievement3.0

The letter attempts to address the task requirements by mentioning the purpose of the dinner, outlining issues encountered, and suggesting improvements. However, the task achievement is limited due to a lack of clarity, detail, and coherence in the explanation of the issues and suggestions.

Recommendations:

  • Offer specific and practical suggestions for improvement, ensuring they are relevant to the issues mentioned.
  • Organize the letter into clear paragraphs, each addressing a specific part of the prompt, to improve coherence and readability.
  • Clearly explain the reason for the special dinner, providing context such as an anniversary, birthday, or other significant event.
  • Describe the issues encountered in more detail, using specific examples and clear language to convey the problems effectively.
GRADED
3.0
Coherence and Cohesion:3.0
Lexical Resource:3.0
Grammatical Range:2.0
Task Achievement:3.0
Band Score:3.0
Coherence and Cohesion3
Logical structure3
Introduction & conclusion present3
Supported main points3
Accurate linking words3
Variety in linking words3
Lexical Resource3
Varied vocabulary3
Accurate spelling & word formation3
Grammatical Range2
Mix of complex & simple sentences2
Clear and correct grammar2
Task Achievement3
Complete response3
Clear & comprehensive ideas3
Relevant & specific examples3
Appropriate word count3
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