BAND 8.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: ADVANTAGES & DISADVANTAGES OF ONLINE HIGHER EDUCATION TREND

Explore the comprehensive analysis of online higher education and professional courses' advantages and disadvantages. This page provides an in-depth look at the flexibility, accessibility, cost-effectiveness and the challenges of limited social interaction and potential quality concerns of online learning. Perfect for individuals considering the online education path.

Writing Task

In today's world, an increasing number of people are deciding to pursue higher education and professional courses online instead of attending traditional brick-and-mortar institutions. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend. Support your answer with reasons and relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 7.0 Scoring and Feedback

In today's world, an increasing number of individuals are opting for online higher education and professional courses instead of attending traditional physical institutions. This trend has several advantages, including flexibility, accessibility, and cost-effectiveness. However, there are also drawbacks, such as limited social interaction and potential concerns regarding the quality of education. Let's explore these aspects further. One significant advantage of online education is the flexibility it offers. Students can access course materials and lectures at their convenience, allowing them to create a study schedule that suits their other commitments. This flexibility is particularly beneficial for individuals who are already employed or have family responsibilities, as it enables them to pursue education without disrupting their current lifestyle. Accessibility is another advantage of online education. It eliminates geographical barriers, making it possible for individuals from remote areas or countries with limited educational opportunities to access a wide range of courses and programs. This opens doors to learning that were previously inaccessible, empowering individuals to acquire knowledge and skills that can enhance their career prospects. Moreover, online education is often cost-effective. Students can save on transportation and accommodation expenses since they can learn from the comfort of their homes. Additionally, online courses are sometimes more affordable than traditional ones, making education more accessible to a larger population. However, there are notable disadvantages to consider. One of the key drawbacks is the limited social interaction compared to attending a physical institution. In a traditional classroom setting, students can engage in face-to-face discussions and build relationships with peers and professors. These interactions foster collaborative learning, networking, and personal development, which may be lacking in online education. In conclusion, pursuing higher education and professional courses online has advantages in terms of flexibility, accessibility, and cost-effectiveness. However, it also comes with disadvantages, including limited social interaction and potential concerns regarding the quality of education. It is crucial for individuals to carefully assess their own needs and preferences before deciding whether online education is the right path for them.
Words: 331Paragraphs: 6
Submitted: 7/12/2023, 05:17 PM

Coherence And Cohesion7.0

The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point, contributing to overall coherence. Transitional phrases like 'One significant advantage' and 'Moreover' are used effectively to link ideas within paragraphs. However, the transitions between paragraphs discussing advantages and disadvantages could be smoother to enhance cohesion.

Recommendations:

  • Ensure each paragraph follows logically from the previous one by maintaining thematic consistency, which can be enhanced by summarizing the main point of the previous paragraph before introducing the next.
  • Use transitional phrases to link paragraphs discussing advantages and disadvantages more smoothly, such as 'On the other hand' or 'Conversely' to indicate a shift from advantages to disadvantages.

Lexical Resource7.0

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, using terms like 'flexibility,' 'accessibility,' 'cost-effectiveness,' 'geographical barriers,' and 'collaborative learning.' These terms are appropriate and enhance the discussion of online education's advantages and disadvantages. However, the lexical resource could be improved by incorporating more varied and sophisticated vocabulary to further enhance the essay's quality.

Recommendations:

  • Use more precise and topic-specific vocabulary related to online education, such as 'virtual learning environments,' 'digital platforms,' or 'e-learning modules.'
  • Incorporate more synonyms and varied expressions for commonly used words like 'advantage,' 'disadvantage,' and 'education' to avoid repetition and enrich the text.
  • Experiment with more complex lexical structures and idiomatic expressions where appropriate to demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.

Grammatical Range7.0

The essay demonstrates a good command of grammatical structures, using a variety of sentence types, including complex and compound sentences. The writer effectively uses relative clauses, conditionals, and passive voice. However, there is room for improvement in terms of using more sophisticated grammatical structures to enhance the range.

Recommendations:

  • Experiment with using more varied sentence openings to avoid repetition and enhance the flow of the essay.
  • Ensure that all sentences are error-free by carefully proofreading for any minor grammatical mistakes, such as subject-verb agreement or article usage.
  • Incorporate more advanced grammatical structures, such as inversion or cleft sentences, to demonstrate a wider range of grammar usage.

Task Achievement7.0

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of pursuing higher education online, providing relevant examples and explanations for each point. It maintains a clear focus on the task and presents a balanced view, fulfilling the Task Achievement criteria.

Recommendations:

  • Ensure the conclusion provides a clear summary and does not introduce new ideas, reinforcing the main points discussed.
  • Include more specific examples or statistics to strengthen the arguments and demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic.
GRADED
7.0
Coherence and Cohesion:7.0
Lexical Resource:7.0
Grammatical Range:7.0
Task Achievement:7.0
Band Score:7.0
Coherence and Cohesion7
Logical structure7
Introduction & conclusion present7
Supported main points7
Accurate linking words7
Variety in linking words7

Lexical Resource7
Varied vocabulary7
Accurate spelling & word formation7

Grammatical Range7
Mix of complex & simple sentences7
Clear and correct grammar7

Task Achievement7
Complete response7
Clear & comprehensive ideas7
Relevant & specific examples7
Appropriate word count7