BAND 7.0 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: TECHNOLOGY ADVANCEMENTS - CONVENIENCE VS SOCIAL ISOLATION
Explore our comprehensive Band 7.0 IELTS essay sample. This analysis discusses the impact of technology on society, its influence on communication, relationships, and education. Find out how technology benefits outweigh its drawbacks and its role in shaping modern society's dynamics.
Writing Task
Some people believe that technological advancements have made our lives more convenient, while others argue that these developments have led to disconnection and isolation in society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 6.0 Scoring and Feedback
Some people hold an idea that in recent years, technology has enhanced the quality of people’s lives in every fields such as communication. Others argue that poor relationship between people in a society is a consequence of development in technology. I believe that although it might have a negative influence on the bond between people, its benefits over weights its drawbacks.
On the one hand, in cyber era, people have a tendency to spend their time on the internet rather than hanging out with each other face to face. In other words, they prefer to text each other and post a comment on social media platforms. For instance, it is claimed that most people waiting for their orders in restaurants use their smart phone for surfing in the net instead of communicating with their companies. Therefore, it might have a negative impact on the social bonds. That is to say, advancements in technology probably lead to secluded community.
On the other hand, technology has numerous advantages which makes the life more convenient. One of its benefits is in related to communication. It is probably true to say that technology promotes the methods of correlation. For example, in todays’ world, people are able to communicate with their friends and family members living abroad via video calls easily, while in the past they had to send mails or make calls which was probably expensive. Moreover, technology make education more convenient. Nowadays, there are countless websites providing an opportunity to learn every subject. For instance, youtube.com is one of them including many educational videos such as teaching a new language.
In conclusion, although development in technology may cause secluded society and deteriorate the bond between people, I strongly believe that its benefits cannot be unconsidered. Technology provide convenient in numerous aspects such as communication and education.
Words: 303|Paragraphs: 4
Submitted: 7/24/2023, 02:09 PM
Coherence And Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource6.0
Grammatical Range6.0
Task Achievement6.0
GRADED
6.0
Coherence and Cohesion:How well the essay is organized and how well ideas are connected throughout.6.0
Lexical Resource:The range of vocabulary used and how accurately and appropriately it is used.6.0
Grammatical Range:The range and accurate use of grammar structures.6.0
Task Achievement:How well the essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a fully developed response.6.0
Band Score:6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6
Logical structure6
Introduction & conclusion present6
Supported main points6
Accurate linking words6
Variety in linking words6
Lexical Resource6
Varied vocabulary6
Accurate spelling & word formation6
Grammatical Range6
Mix of complex & simple sentences6
Clear and correct grammar6
Task Achievement6
Complete response6
Clear & comprehensive ideas6
Relevant & specific examples6
Appropriate word count6