BAND 8.0 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: ANALYZING CAUSES AND SOLUTIONS FOR INCREASING CRIME RATES
Explore our detailed band 8.0 IELTS essay sample that discusses the influence of poverty and unemployment on rising crime rates. Discover potential solutions such as education, job creation, and free state services to combat these issues. Dive into an in-depth understanding of crime-relevant explanations and effective actions to curb crime rates worldwide.
Writing Task
In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 6.5 Scoring and Feedback
Given the ever-increasing crime ratio in the contemporary era, potential crime-relevant explanations and solutions have been identified as a major concern worldwide. The current essay provides a detailed account of the underlying justifications to this matter, and offers practical actions to deal with it.
Initially, it is universally accepted that poverty is the chief cause in the growth of crime rate in many regions. Due to global economic crisis and unemployment issues, lay people from diverse parts of the world struggle with financial problems. Having been homeless, jobless, and in dire need of fundamental life demands like health care, they find themselves miserable enough to commit crimes to afford their basic expenses. A wise man once said nothing is more dangerous that a man/woman in charge of family expenses who fails to make ends meet at the end of the months.
With poverty as the prominent factor contributing to higher proportion of criminals in some nations, there are effective actions that could be taken by government to wrestle with crime rate concerns. In order to combat unemployment, authorities in charge could create opportunities in various sectors to educate less-priviledged community and prepare them for the job market. The more education targets minorities in poor regions, the more job opportunities would be available to pave the way for them to gain income. Turning to health care center and further crucial facilities, government could provide free of charge services to those below the poverty line, ranging from low-cost and free accommodation and education to health and commodities without charge.
Conclusively, if higher crime rates are to be considered in a nation, a highly recommended solution would be to eradicate poverty, be it through education, occupation, or free services by the state.
Words: 289|Paragraphs: 4
Submitted: 7/21/2023, 09:51 AM
Coherence And Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource7.0
Grammatical Range6.0
Task Achievement6.0
GRADED
6.5
Coherence and Cohesion:How well the essay is organized and how well ideas are connected throughout.6.0
Lexical Resource:The range of vocabulary used and how accurately and appropriately it is used.7.0
Grammatical Range:The range and accurate use of grammar structures.6.0
Task Achievement:How well the essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a fully developed response.6.0
Band Score:6.5
Coherence and Cohesion6
Logical structure6
Introduction & conclusion present6
Supported main points6
Accurate linking words6
Variety in linking words6
Lexical Resource7
Varied vocabulary7
Accurate spelling & word formation6
Grammatical Range6
Mix of complex & simple sentences6
Clear and correct grammar6
Task Achievement6
Complete response6
Clear & comprehensive ideas6
Relevant & specific examples6
Appropriate word count6