BAND 7.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: EXAMINING THE CAUSES AND SOLUTIONS FOR RISING CRIME RATES WORLDWIDE
Explore our Band 7.5 Score IELTS sample essay on the rise in violent crimes. Delve into the root causes including increased unemployment and media influence, and understand the crucial role governments can play in prevention. Discover suggested solutions such as expanded education and stricter laws.
Writing Task
In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 6.5 Scoring and Feedback
It is true that violent crime has increased in many countries lately. This essay examines some main reasons for this trend and argues that governments can play a major role in preventing such crimes.
There are at least two important factors that contribute to the increasing number of criminals. First, millions of jobs have been lost globally due to rapid advancements in technology, innovations that have led to higher unemployment rates in many workforces. In these circumstances, some unemployed people have difficulty finding jobs, so they will end up in poverty, which is the root cause of crimes occurring to support their needs. Some reports show that a growing number of petty crimes have been reported in big urban cities with high unemployment rates, like drug trafficking, robbery, and smuggling. Secondly, some research proves that youngsters these days are more likely to carry out violent acts due to a lack of morality and self-control. These acts of cruelty have been influenced on daily basis by the media, which features many violent contents in numerous forms of entertainment such as online video games, and criminals' TV shows. Obviously, the offender rate is on the rise, if strict regulations have not been enacted.
It would be the government's responsibility to tackle this problem, which can enforce law-abiding citizens to comply. In order to fix the root cause, education should be equally spread throughout the country to provide some practical skills that are currently in demand in the workforce. For example, in some countries, the local authorities have established professional institutions that provide technical training courses in specific fields such as mechanics, electricians, or informative technology. Moreover, lawmakers should introduce stricter laws and announce more serious punishments in order to discourage the young from breaking the law. As a result of the earlier approaches, we could see a decrease in criminal offences, while the overall quality of life in the nation would be improved.
In conclusion, I truly believe that expanding educational opportunities and amending the punishment for the young would help resolve the issue, with the authorities playing a significant role to make changes.
Words: 352|Paragraphs: 4
Submitted: 7/22/2023, 10:58 AM
Coherence And Cohesion6.5
Lexical Resource7.0
Grammatical Range6.5
Task Achievement6.5
GRADED
6.5
Coherence and Cohesion:How well the essay is organized and how well ideas are connected throughout.6.5
Lexical Resource:The range of vocabulary used and how accurately and appropriately it is used.7.0
Grammatical Range:The range and accurate use of grammar structures.6.5
Task Achievement:How well the essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a fully developed response.6.5
Band Score:6.5
Coherence and Cohesion6.5
Logical structure7
Introduction & conclusion present6
Supported main points6
Accurate linking words7
Variety in linking words7
Lexical Resource7
Varied vocabulary7
Accurate spelling & word formation7
Grammatical Range6.5
Mix of complex & simple sentences7
Clear and correct grammar6
Task Achievement6.5
Complete response7
Clear & comprehensive ideas6
Relevant & specific examples6
Appropriate word count7