BAND 7.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: EXPLORING THE CAUSES AND SOLUTIONS FOR INCREASING WASTE PRODUCTION GLOBALLY

Dive into our IELTS essay sample scored at Band 7.5. Explore the escalating issue of household and industrial waste, its environmental impacts, and potential solutions such as government tax implementations. Discover insightful examples and gain a deeper understanding of current environmental concerns to steal the show in your IELTS exam.

Writing Task

In many countries, the amount of waste produced by households and industries is increasing at an alarming rate. What are the main causes of this situation, and what measures could be taken to tackle the problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 6.0 Scoring and Feedback

Today, the amount of household and industrial waste is rising substantially at an alarming rate, which is probably the greatest threat to the environment. This essay will shed some light on the main cause of the problem, and will also suggest a viable solution to tackle with this situation effectively. To begin with, increasing use of non-biodegradable packaging materials, such as plastics, metals, and glass, are the main reason for the excessive amount of trash production. Food and beverage companies use plastics intensively as a main packaging material for final products in order to attract consumers’ attention. As a result, they not only pollute the environment, but also affect negatively to the public health. For example, the average UK household uses approximately 480 plastic bottles per year; however, only about 270 of them were recycled. Obviously, there are not simple solutions to dispose of solid waste; thus, government needs to apply some strict regulation to reduce such waste. With the use of taxes, government could reduce the market demand for plastics. If tax authority raises taxes on such products, the equilibrium price will go up immediately; hence, the demand in the market might reduce in the short run. For instance, in 2012 the German government doubled the tax rate that is levied on plastic materials; therefore, the price has tripled since 2012. Despite the fact that some governments use same policy, the final result is not always successful. In conclusion, government should imply high tax rate on the materials that is not easily decompose in order to encourage residents and local companies to use more environmentally friendly products; otherwise, such products will harm and pollute the environment, and it might be a world-wide problem in the near future.
Words: 288Paragraphs: 4
Submitted: 7/27/2023, 11:33 AM

Coherence And Cohesion6.0

The essay is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, there are some issues with coherence and cohesion due to inconsistent use of linking words and unclear connections between ideas.

Recommendations:

  • Improve the logical flow of ideas by ensuring that each point leads naturally to the next. For example, in the paragraph about government measures, clarify how the use of taxes directly leads to reduced waste production.
  • Use more varied and appropriate linking words and phrases to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. For example, instead of starting a paragraph with 'To begin with,' consider using 'Firstly' or 'Primarily' to indicate a sequence or importance.
  • Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within the paragraph relate directly to that idea. For instance, the paragraph discussing the causes of waste should focus more on elaborating the connection between non-biodegradable materials and waste production.

Lexical Resource6.0

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, including terms like 'non-biodegradable', 'equilibrium price', and 'environmentally friendly'. However, there are occasional inaccuracies in word choice and some awkward phrasing that hinder clarity.

Recommendations:

  • Incorporate a wider variety of synonyms for common words like 'problem' to avoid repetition and enhance lexical range.
  • Use more precise vocabulary to enhance clarity, such as replacing 'shed some light on' with 'examine' or 'analyze'.
  • Avoid unnecessary repetition of phrases, such as 'at an alarming rate', which is used twice in similar contexts.
  • Ensure collocations are used correctly, for example, change 'affect negatively to the public health' to 'negatively affect public health'.

Grammatical Range6.0

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and passive voice. However, there are some grammatical errors that affect clarity and precision, such as subject-verb agreement and incorrect prepositions.

Recommendations:

  • Vary sentence structures by incorporating more conditional or relative clauses to enhance grammatical range.
  • Use correct prepositions, for example, 'affect negatively public health' should be 'negatively affect public health.'
  • Avoid unnecessary words in phrases like 'tackle with this situation' which should be 'tackle this situation.'
  • Ensure subject-verb agreement, especially in complex sentences, such as 'increasing use of non-biodegradable packaging materials... is the main reason.'

Task Achievement6.0

The essay addresses the task by identifying main causes of increasing waste, such as the use of non-biodegradable packaging, and suggests a measure, specifically government taxation, as a solution. It provides relevant examples and reasons to support the arguments.

Recommendations:

  • Include more specific examples or data to illustrate the effectiveness of proposed measures, enhancing the persuasiveness of the arguments.
  • Ensure both parts of the task are equally addressed. The essay focuses more on causes than solutions. Expanding on the measures, such as discussing more than one solution, could enhance task achievement.
  • Provide a clearer distinction between causes and solutions in the structure of the essay. Consider dedicating separate paragraphs to causes and solutions to improve clarity.
GRADED
6.0
Coherence and Cohesion:6.0
Lexical Resource:6.0
Grammatical Range:6.0
Task Achievement:6.0
Band Score:6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6
Logical structure6
Introduction & conclusion present6
Supported main points6
Accurate linking words6
Variety in linking words6

Lexical Resource6
Varied vocabulary6
Accurate spelling & word formation6

Grammatical Range6
Mix of complex & simple sentences6
Clear and correct grammar6

Task Achievement6
Complete response6
Clear & comprehensive ideas6
Relevant & specific examples6
Appropriate word count6