BAND 6.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: IMPACT OF TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCEMENTS ON INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS QUALITY
Explore our band 6.5 score IELTS essay sample discussing the impact of technological advances on interpersonal relationships. Understand the influence of social media and virtual communication on personal interaction and mental health. Learn how to strike a balance between online and face-to-face communication.
Writing Task
Some people believe that technological advancements, specifically in the field of communication, have led to a decline in the quality of interpersonal relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Provide reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 6.0 Scoring and Feedback
Technological advances have revolutionized the way we travel، communicate and live as a whole. With the rise in social media, for example, the majority of people spend a great deal of time to communicate online. While these advancements have facilitated communication، some believe that modern technological means have left a mark on the quality of interpersonal relationships, leading to more isolation and less meaningful relationships.
Fundamentally، face - to - face contacts are more effective to build and maintain close relationships. When individuals talk in person ، they have the chance to build eye contact and pick up on any inverbal clus, as a result, have a more meaningful interaction. For instance، when I talk with my friend in person, i feel more comfortable to talk about everything even the most private issues. Conversely, onlion chatting makes me uncomfortable to share some personal issues.
Moreover, spending countless hours communicating online makes people isolated and lonely. The ease cutting edge communication technology brings, making people more eager to utilize them, consequently, they might spend planty of time on virtual world every day. The more time spent virtually، the less time spent face to face. So people may become isolated, anxious or even depressed.
In conclusion, although modern technologies have paved the way we communicate especially with those who live miles away, personaly, I adhere to this idea that they have had a negative impact on the quality of interpersonal relationships. People should strike a balance between in-person communications and online ones.
Words: 250|Paragraphs: 4
Submitted: 7/19/2023, 08:39 PM
Coherence And Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource6.0
Grammatical Range5.0
Task Achievement6.0
GRADED
6.0
Coherence and Cohesion:How well the essay is organized and how well ideas are connected throughout.6.0
Lexical Resource:The range of vocabulary used and how accurately and appropriately it is used.6.0
Grammatical Range:The range and accurate use of grammar structures.5.0
Task Achievement:How well the essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a fully developed response.6.0
Band Score:6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6
Logical structure6
Introduction & conclusion present7
Supported main points6
Accurate linking words6
Variety in linking words6
Lexical Resource6
Varied vocabulary6
Accurate spelling & word formation6
Grammatical Range5
Mix of complex & simple sentences5
Clear and correct grammar5
Task Achievement6
Complete response6
Clear & comprehensive ideas6
Relevant & specific examples6
Appropriate word count7