BAND 6.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: DISCUSSING GOVERNMENT INVESTMENT PRIORITIES - PUBLIC SERVICES VS. ARTS
Explore a comprehensive Band 6.5 IELTS essay sample discussing diverse views on state budget allocation for arts, healthcare, and education. Understand the significance of different funding areas, including government involvement in healthcare, benefits of education subsidies, and the cultural importance of arts in contemporary life. A valuable resource for IELTS test takers.
Writing Task
Some people believe that the government should prioritize investments in public services, such as education and healthcare, over spending on the arts. Others, however, argue that investing in the arts is equally important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Provide relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge to support your answer.
IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 6.0 Scoring and Feedback
People have different views on how state budget should be used. In my opinion, I believe that arts are as essential for contemporary life as other aspect, such as education and healthcare. This essay would analyze both arguments before giving an appropriate conclusion.
On the one hand, it is undeniable that government funding should be used for education and healthcare. Firstly, by subsidizing educational fee, a higher number of youthful residents may have chances to enroll in school and colleges, making a greater supply of highly qualified workers. In fact, it is acknowledged that skilled and knowledgeable human capital is imperative to foster economic growth and technological development, which benefits society in the long run. Secondly, as it takes an arm and a leg to treat some dangerous diseases such as cancer or vascular problems, government should have responsibility to take care of resident's well- being. Reducing treatment fees by government subsidization may reduce the financial burden for low - income patients, those have chronic diseases.
On the other hand, there are several argues in favor of using state budget on arts. The first reason is that some works of arts are invaluable, such as traditional songs or dance, that represent culture of each nation. Without considerable effort to protect these kind of arts, they could be push to the verge of extinction. An other reason worth mentioning is that some kind of arts have great spiritual value, which spices up our life and enhances our live standard. In fact, in hectic life, enjoying works of arts may not only help us to recognize the true value of life, but also a effective way to entertain.
In conclusion, although being healthy and having a solid foundation of education is obviously important, I still hold the argument that it is reasonable to spend government funding on maintaining works of arts.
Words: 309|Paragraphs: 1
Submitted: 7/18/2023, 07:15 AM
Coherence And Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource6.0
Grammatical Range6.0
Task Achievement6.0
GRADED
6.0
Coherence and Cohesion:How well the essay is organized and how well ideas are connected throughout.6.0
Lexical Resource:The range of vocabulary used and how accurately and appropriately it is used.6.0
Grammatical Range:The range and accurate use of grammar structures.6.0
Task Achievement:How well the essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a fully developed response.6.0
Band Score:6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6
Logical structure6
Introduction & conclusion present6
Supported main points6
Accurate linking words6
Variety in linking words6
Lexical Resource6
Varied vocabulary6
Accurate spelling & word formation6
Grammatical Range6
Mix of complex & simple sentences6
Clear and correct grammar6
Task Achievement6
Complete response6
Clear & comprehensive ideas6
Relevant & specific examples6
Appropriate word count6