BAND 6.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: CHILD AUTONOMY VS GUIDED DISCIPLINE - A BALANCED DISCUSSION AND OPINION
Explore the impact of permissive parenting in our IELTS essay sample, scoring 6.5 band. We examine both sides of the debate, exploring the benefits and potential drawbacks of children making their own life choices on their future personalities and independence. A comprehensive look at the role of parents in raising responsible children for a better society.
Writing Task
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters, such as food, clothes, and entertainment, is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Others argue that it is better for children to be guided and disciplined in these areas from an early age.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Support your answer with relevant examples and evidence.
IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 6.0 Scoring and Feedback
Some people claim that those children who can make a decision permissively, will end up being selfish, while others argue that children should have the right to choose for their own life. This essay will take a lot look at both sides of the argument and provide some precise reasons to support the first opinion, following with a reasonable conclusion.
It goes without saying that being free is every individual's right and having said that those who have learned to make decisions freely are more persistent than others. in other words, in this modern society, it is up to parents to raise their children in a way to be more responsible for their own life and this fact actively starts from an early age, when children can choose their food or clothes as well. A survey conducted in a university shows the evidence that making children to decide for their own life, can highly affect their choices in the future. For instance, those children grown up permissively, can select university, jobs, and make their own living easily and are able to reduce their dependency on their parents as well.
Another group looks at the problem from another perspective. They maintain that there is a correlation between children's choices and their personality. Allowing children to make their own choices for things they want, can deeply cause some irreversible ramifications in their adulthood and consequently gives them a sense of derevingness and possession. Simply put, these children, who often do not appreciate others life value, may become more greedy and narrow-minded. To give an example, those child who can have everything in life based on their interests, can not appreciate the others life value. As a result, in the future, they master their communication skills and may have some relationship problems with their workmates or partner.
To sum up, although children should raised up to be more independent but if they do not be disciplined without guidelines and controls of their parents, in the future may have some principal issues which cannot be neglected. I strongly believe that parents should guide their children and help them to differentiate right from wrong, which is significant to have a better society.
Words: 367|Paragraphs: 1
Submitted: 7/22/2023, 07:37 AM
Coherence And Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource6.0
Grammatical Range6.0
Task Achievement6.0
GRADED
6.0
Coherence and Cohesion:How well the essay is organized and how well ideas are connected throughout.6.0
Lexical Resource:The range of vocabulary used and how accurately and appropriately it is used.6.0
Grammatical Range:The range and accurate use of grammar structures.6.0
Task Achievement:How well the essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a fully developed response.6.0
Band Score:6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6
Logical structure6
Introduction & conclusion present6
Supported main points6
Accurate linking words6
Variety in linking words6
Lexical Resource6
Varied vocabulary6
Accurate spelling & word formation6
Grammatical Range6
Mix of complex & simple sentences6
Clear and correct grammar6
Task Achievement6
Complete response6
Clear & comprehensive ideas6
Relevant & specific examples6
Appropriate word count6