BAND 6.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: ANALYZING THE INCREASING TREND OF LIVING ALONE IN MANY COUNTRIES

Explore our comprehensive sample of a band 6.5 IELTS essay discussing the rising trend of living alone. Discover the benefits, cons, and reasons behind this lifestyle choice, like privacy, independence, and economic factors. Ideal for IELTS aspirants looking for quality practice material.

Writing Task

In many countries, the number of people choosing to live by themselves is increasing rapidly in recent years. What are some of the reasons for this? Do the advantages of living alone outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 6.0 Scoring and Feedback

Living alone has become one of the most life styles all around the world, and this major is rising dramatically which has become one big concern for the governments. There are several reasons behind this situation, and I find this development more beneficial than negative, so I completely agree with this method of living. Both the reasons and my view is elaborated further. In my term of view, the fancy of having privacy, and for some people avoiding from family arguments or problems are the most important reason for choosing to live by themselves. Living alone offers individuals freedom and independency and they can make decisions regarding to their routines and lifestyles without anyone disturbing or compering with others. For example, I always wanted to study and prepared for the academy exams, while my mother wanted to listen to the music or invited her friends, which made for me bad situation for study. On the other hand, in some countries, the cost of living has risen significantly, making it more challenging for people to afford larger living spaces or to share accommodation with others. Living alone can be an option for those who can afford it. The cost of living alone can be significantly higher than sharing expenses with others. Another disadvantage of living alone can be lead people to feeling of loneliness ,However the social media and online communication tools has made it easier to stay connected with friends and family. In conclusion, the increasing trend of people living alone can be attributed to changing social norms, economic factors and increased mobility. meanwhile the advantages are outweigh the disadvantages, but it depends on the individual preferences and circumstances.
Words: 279Paragraphs: 1
Submitted: 7/24/2023, 01:12 PM

Coherence And Cohesion6.0

The essay addresses the prompt by presenting reasons for the increase in individuals living alone and evaluates the advantages and disadvantages of this trend. The structure includes an introduction, body paragraphs discussing reasons and implications, and a conclusion. However, there are issues with logical progression and paragraphing, which affect coherence and cohesion.

Recommendations:

  • Clarify the relationship between ideas by using pronouns effectively to refer back to previously mentioned concepts.
  • Use more cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs. For example, use transitional phrases like 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', or 'On the contrary' to connect ideas smoothly.
  • Ensure consistency in point of view and tense to maintain coherence throughout the essay.
  • Improve paragraphing to ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea. For instance, separate the discussion of reasons for living alone and the advantages/disadvantages into distinct paragraphs.

Lexical Resource6.0

The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary with some attempts at using less common lexical items. However, there are noticeable issues with word choice, collocations, and word forms, which sometimes impede clarity and precision.

Recommendations:

  • Pay attention to word forms and grammatical correctness, like using 'independence' instead of 'independency' and ensuring consistency in verb forms and tenses.
  • Improve the accuracy of word choice by ensuring that words fit the context appropriately, such as replacing 'life styles' with 'lifestyles' and 'major' with 'trend.'
  • Work on collocations and phrases that are more natural in English, for instance, 'term of view' should be 'point of view,' and 'compering with others' should be 'comparing oneself to others.'
  • Expand the range of vocabulary by incorporating more synonyms and varied expressions to avoid repetition, such as using 'solitude' or 'individual living' instead of repeating 'living alone.'

Grammatical Range5.0

The essay demonstrates a fair range of grammatical structures, including some complex sentences, but also contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity and coherence.

Recommendations:

  • Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, as errors are present ('this method of living' should be 'this method of living is').
  • Use articles correctly ('one of the most life styles' should be 'one of the most common lifestyles').
  • Avoid incorrect preposition usage ('regarding to their routines' should be 'regarding their routines').
  • Ensure pronoun clarity and agreement ('Both the reasons and my view is elaborated' should be 'Both the reasons and my view are elaborated').
  • Improve the use of compound sentences to enhance the flow and connection of ideas (e.g., 'Living alone can be an option for those who can afford it, although the cost can be significantly higher than sharing expenses with others.').

Task Achievement6.0

The essay addresses the task prompt by discussing reasons why people choose to live alone and evaluates whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The writer provides personal examples and discusses both positive and negative aspects, attempting to answer both parts of the question.

Recommendations:

  • Ensure that the essay fully addresses both parts of the task prompt. While reasons for living alone are discussed, the evaluation of advantages versus disadvantages could be more balanced and detailed.
  • Clarify the main argument in the introduction and conclusion, ensuring consistency throughout the essay. The conclusion should clearly restate whether the advantages truly outweigh the disadvantages based on the arguments presented.
  • Provide more explicit examples and evidence to support the claim that the advantages of living alone outweigh the disadvantages. This would strengthen the argument and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the task.
GRADED
6.0
Coherence and Cohesion:6.0
Lexical Resource:6.0
Grammatical Range:5.0
Task Achievement:6.0
Band Score:6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6
Logical structure6
Introduction & conclusion present6
Supported main points6
Accurate linking words6
Variety in linking words6
Lexical Resource6
Varied vocabulary6
Accurate spelling & word formation6
Grammatical Range5
Mix of complex & simple sentences5
Clear and correct grammar5
Task Achievement6
Complete response6
Clear & comprehensive ideas6
Relevant & specific examples6
Appropriate word count6
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