BAND 6.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: ANALYZING TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCEMENTS - BOON OR BANE?
Dive into a comprehensive band 6.5 IELTS essay sample discussing the merits and demerits of technology in our contemporary world. Explore views on unemployment, social issues, mental health, and the convenience brought by technological advancement. Ideal resource for IELTS preparation and enhancing English writing skills.
Writing Task
Some people believe that technological advancements have brought about more harm than good, while others argue that these advancements have significantly improved the quality of our lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Support your answer with relevant examples from your experience or knowledge.
IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 6.0 Scoring and Feedback
In the contemporary era, technology has been an indispensable part of the world. There has been an ongoing argument on whether it is beneficial or harmful. Some individual claim that its demerits overwhelmingly greater that its advantages. While the other are in favor of this progress. From my own perspective, I am firmly in agreement with the latter one. In forthcoming paragraphs, i will discuss both sides of issue and providing reasonable support for my viewpoint.
To begin with, those who are opponent with technology advancement argue that this trend enhances unemployment in the society. To elaborate, there are a substantial number of machines in every industry due to technology, by which companies are more incline to utilize these pieces instead of working labor. Consequently, lack of careers leads to major issues either economical or social. Furthermore, it is undoubtedly play a prominent role in increasing trend of mental problems. In details, presently, majority of population spend a great deal of their time involving in virtual world rather than actual world. So much so, it might take its roles in personal life and cause disturbance in family relations. In long term. it might be correlated with sense of isolation and depression.
On the contrary,those who are in favor of technological advancement mention the convenience that is brought to human's life. In the past, crowds need to travel long distances to send messages, However, technology make it possible at a button click. It is also worth to mention that this progress reduce our carbon footprint,thus positively correlated with improving weather quality.Hence, it saves many lives in the whole world. It is an inevitable fact that smartphone provides an opportunity to make a call in emergency situation .
To conclude, despite some undesirable influence on our life, the desirable impacts consideably greater than its downsides.
Words: 303|Paragraphs: 1
Submitted: 7/20/2023, 01:07 PM
Coherence And Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource6.0
Grammatical Range5.0
Task Achievement6.0
GRADED
6.0
Coherence and Cohesion:How well the essay is organized and how well ideas are connected throughout.6.0
Lexical Resource:The range of vocabulary used and how accurately and appropriately it is used.6.0
Grammatical Range:The range and accurate use of grammar structures.5.0
Task Achievement:How well the essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a fully developed response.6.0
Band Score:6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6
Logical structure6
Introduction & conclusion present6
Supported main points6
Accurate linking words6
Variety in linking words6
Lexical Resource6
Varied vocabulary6
Accurate spelling & word formation6
Grammatical Range5
Mix of complex & simple sentences5
Clear and correct grammar5
Task Achievement6
Complete response6
Clear & comprehensive ideas6
Relevant & specific examples6
Appropriate word count6