BAND 6.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: DISCUSSING PERSONAL VS GOVERNMENT RESPONSIBILITY FOR HEALTH
Explore a comprehensive IELTS essay sample detailing the responsibility of caring for individuals with poor health. Discussing perspectives on family versus government-provided healthcare, this band 6.5 score essay offers in-depth analysis and viewpoints on the topic. Improves your IELTS writing skills with our carefully curated samples.
Writing Task
Some people argue that individuals should be held responsible for their poor health, while others believe that the government should bear the burden of providing healthcare for everyone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Support your answer with relevant examples and evidence.
IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 5.0 Scoring and Feedback
Variable opinions have been put on the table when it comes to the responsibility for caring health people. However, some say that people should care patient instead of providing an infrastructure for caring and curing everyone by the government. I will discuss this more in detail in paragraphs to come and explain whether I agree or disagree at the end.
To begin with, no one can deny the fact that poor health people need to someone who knows everything about caring. In the case of responsibility for caring, families or friends should be educated to get knowledge of caring. It is considered that getting familiar with this topic costs, which is not affordable sometimes. Although staying family and friend beside poor health people is a must, they should have leisure time for proving this approach. Also, they should sacrifice their free time for being responsible in front of their weak health individuals among their families. Thus, the merits of this strategy are hard to support.
An alternative position argues that making a pleasant society needs to focus on people's needs. The main necessary item is about caring, which could affect people's lives in terms of causes can make for them. Providing a proper center or a construction could make our lives easier. The government should invest on making these centers, which allocate budget to people who are interested in caring. These centers equip people to gain better facilities for caring and curing. For example, in developed countries, older people or poor health ones have extra insurance for amenities and facilities. Thus, this makes it clear that this approach can be substituted with other strategies. The heightened benefits of providing healthcare center focus on caring can clearly be seen.
These days, the number of people who need to be cared become increased significantly. While some believe that caring families is the responsible for everyone, others say it should be solved by the government. I strongly agree with the second point.
Words: 329|Paragraphs: 1
Submitted: 7/22/2023, 04:02 AM
Coherence And Cohesion5.0
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range5.0
Task Achievement5.0
GRADED
5.0
Coherence and Cohesion:How well the essay is organized and how well ideas are connected throughout.5.0
Lexical Resource:The range of vocabulary used and how accurately and appropriately it is used.5.0
Grammatical Range:The range and accurate use of grammar structures.5.0
Task Achievement:How well the essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a fully developed response.5.0
Band Score:5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5
Logical structure5
Introduction & conclusion present5
Supported main points5
Accurate linking words5
Variety in linking words5
Lexical Resource5
Varied vocabulary5
Accurate spelling & word formation5
Grammatical Range5
Mix of complex & simple sentences5
Clear and correct grammar5
Task Achievement5
Complete response5
Clear & comprehensive ideas5
Relevant & specific examples5
Appropriate word count5