BAND 6.0 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: DISCUSSING PERSONAL VS GOVERNMENT RESPONSIBILITY FOR HEALTH AND WELLBEING
Explore our Band 6.0 IELTS essay sample discussing the role of individuals and government in maintaining health. Uncover the pros and cons of universal healthcare versus private healthcare, and the need for a harmonized approach suitable for diverse occupations and lifestyles. Ideal material for IELTS preparation.
Writing Task
Some people argue that individuals should take responsibility for their own health and wellbeing, while others believe it's the government's duty to provide healthcare services to everyone in society. Discuss both these views and provide your own opinion. Support your answer with relevant examples and explanations.
IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 5.0 Scoring and Feedback
Some people argue that individuals should take responsibility for their own health the others think that it should be a governmental duty .
Nowadays we depend on the government on almost every aspect of our lives. The benefits of universal healthcare and support of the government can be many such as the easier accessibility for all of the individuals in that society and it provieds more affordable options rather than say private healthcare and instances although many think that such federal provided services results in lower quality of the mentioned services.
The other advantage of the universal healthcare is that it covers more illnesses and problems such as disabilities and problems caused by genetics rather than the private healthcare provides help according to their terms and services and what plan a person might chose.
Moreover the government provides cover for a larger demographic of the society it lacks on covering medicine for rare diseases as the private healthcare does significantly better in this aspect because the private system attends to your needs base on your problem and requirements unlike the federal system which is more general in treating problems.
Its crystal clear that both options have advantages and disadvantages but in my way of thinking its better to mix both and present more mixed options for people to chose according to their occupations and jobs and life styles for comparison a construction worker needs a different kind of help and healthcare rather to say a teacher. A federal system should constructed with the inclusion of private healthcare providers to insure everyone in the society's is taken care of in the time that they might need it.
Words: 276|Paragraphs: 2
Submitted: 7/26/2023, 07:25 PM
Coherence And Cohesion5.0
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range4.0
Task Achievement5.0
GRADED
5.0
Coherence and Cohesion:How well the essay is organized and how well ideas are connected throughout.5.0
Lexical Resource:The range of vocabulary used and how accurately and appropriately it is used.5.0
Grammatical Range:The range and accurate use of grammar structures.4.0
Task Achievement:How well the essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a fully developed response.5.0
Band Score:5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5
Logical structure5
Introduction & conclusion present5
Supported main points5
Accurate linking words5
Variety in linking words5
Lexical Resource5
Varied vocabulary5
Accurate spelling & word formation5
Grammatical Range4
Mix of complex & simple sentences4
Clear and correct grammar4
Task Achievement5
Complete response5
Clear & comprehensive ideas5
Relevant & specific examples5
Appropriate word count5