BAND 5.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: UNDERSTANDING THE RISING TREND OF SOLO LIVING AND ITS PROS AND CONS

Explore the pros and cons of living alone with our Band 5.5 IELTS essay sample. Understand the reasons leading people to live alone and the impacts it can have on their lifestyle. Learn about the financial and personal benefits, along with potential dangers and drawbacks. Example scenarios from Vietnamese society are used for better insights.

Writing Task

In many countries, the number of people choosing to live by themselves is increasing rapidly in recent years. What are some of the reasons for this? Do the advantages of living alone outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 5.0 Scoring and Feedback

In a plenty of locations on over the world, the living alone decision is decided by a large amount of human and it is rising up significantly for the last few decades .From my perspective, I do not thing that the merits will overshadow the demerits. In this essay I will discuss my opinion. In the first paragraph, I will illustrate the causes that lead to this fact, in the second paragraph, I will compare the benefits and the drawbacks. Some people are introvert, so they prefer living alone, in lieu of living with the opponent and they afraid if they live with the bad people they will be a victim in some cases. In addition, in light of a fact that they are having a huge financial burden and they want to live alone to save their money. Although they will feel lonely, they still accept that, due to they have some special secrets. For example: In Vietnam, there are a large number of teenagers choose to living alone, due to some reasons. This decision bring to us quite a lot advantages, for example: they can save money and use that for the individual things, not only this benefits, but also they can have a private atmosphere to live and enjoy their life. On the other hand, their will no one to rescue them in the emergency situations for instance: when they get illness or when they get an accident,....On top of that, they have to do anything by themselves, such as: do the housework,... not to mention when they make a mistake, no one can help them to make that mistake better, for instance: in Binh Phuoc province, there is a man who lived alone, he got sick and die. To conclude, living alone has two sides, it depends on our decision, based on these detail information that I have mentioned above.
Words: 314Paragraphs: 1
Submitted: 7/23/2023, 12:48 PM

Coherence And Cohesion4.5

The essay attempts to address the prompt by outlining reasons for the increase in people living alone and weighing the advantages and disadvantages. However, the coherence and cohesion are undermined by unclear transitions, inconsistent referencing, and a lack of logical progression in ideas.

Recommendations:

  • Use cohesive devices more effectively to link sentences and paragraphs, such as using appropriate conjunctions and transition words to show relationships between ideas.
  • Ensure that pronouns and references are clear to avoid confusion, such as ensuring that 'they' clearly refers to a specific group or individual.
  • Improve paragraph structure by ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details that logically follow from one another.
  • Develop a more logical progression of ideas, particularly in the introduction and conclusion, to ensure that the essay clearly addresses the task and follows a coherent structure.

Lexical Resource5.0

The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary with some attempts at using less common words and phrases. However, there are several inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, which affect clarity and precision.

Recommendations:

  • Avoid repetition of words and phrases by using synonyms or rephrasing sentences, such as using 'advantages' instead of repeating 'benefits.'
  • Work on collocations to ensure natural usage of phrases. For example, use 'financial constraints' instead of 'huge financial burden' and 'make a decision' instead of 'the living alone decision is decided.'
  • Expand vocabulary range by reading more academic texts and noting down phrases and word combinations that are frequently used.
  • Practice using linking words and phrases more accurately to improve the flow of ideas, such as 'in contrast' instead of 'on the other hand' when discussing disadvantages.
  • Improve word choice by learning and practicing more precise vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'solitude' instead of 'living alone decision' and 'individuals' instead of 'human'.

Grammatical Range4.5

The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures with frequent errors in sentence construction, verb forms, and subject-verb agreement. There is some attempt to use complex sentences, but they are often incorrect or awkwardly constructed.

Recommendations:

  • Review the use of articles ('a', 'an', 'the') and prepositions to enhance grammatical accuracy.
  • Practice using a wider range of grammatical structures, including more complex sentences with correct use of conjunctions and relative clauses.
  • Pay attention to verb forms and tense consistency to ensure subject-verb agreement and correct tense usage throughout the essay.
  • Focus on improving sentence structure to avoid run-on sentences and fragments. Ensure each sentence has a clear subject and predicate.

Task Achievement5.0

The essay attempts to address the task by discussing reasons for the increase in people living alone and weighing its advantages and disadvantages. However, it lacks clarity and depth in addressing the task prompt, particularly in providing a balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages.

Recommendations:

  • Ensure that both advantages and disadvantages are discussed with equal depth and clarity, providing specific examples for each.
  • Provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction that outlines the main points to be discussed, ensuring it is directly related to the task prompt.
  • Clearly state the reasons for the increase in people living alone in the introduction and ensure these reasons are elaborated upon in the body paragraphs.
  • Improve coherence by organizing the essay into clear paragraphs that each address a single aspect of the task, such as reasons, advantages, and disadvantages.
GRADED
5.0
Coherence and Cohesion:4.5
Lexical Resource:5.0
Grammatical Range:4.5
Task Achievement:5.0
Band Score:5.0
Coherence and Cohesion4.5
Logical structure4
Introduction & conclusion present5
Supported main points4
Accurate linking words5
Variety in linking words4
Lexical Resource5
Varied vocabulary5
Accurate spelling & word formation5
Grammatical Range4.5
Mix of complex & simple sentences5
Clear and correct grammar4
Task Achievement5
Complete response5
Clear & comprehensive ideas5
Relevant & specific examples5
Appropriate word count5
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