BAND 5.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: PROS AND CONS OF EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES OUTSIDE SCHOOL HOURS
Explore our IELTS essay sample, scoring a band 5.5, discussing the impact of junk food consumption on health. This insightful essay debates whether education on the risks of junk food is sufficient, or if government action is necessary. Learn from the arguments, examples and conclusions provided for a well-rounded view on the complex issue of unhealthy food consumption.
Writing Task
In many countries, parents are encouraging their children to take part in extracurricular activities outside of school hours. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend. To what extent do you agree or disagree with parents promoting such activities for their children?
IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 4.0 Scoring and Feedback
there are different views about damaging health by eating more junk food and its impact on health.
Some people think that educating people about the dangers of consuming too much unhealthy food is the best way to tackle this problem , whereas others argue that education alone is not enough to solve this problem.
 on the one hand educating has more impact on behaviour of people. They can understand the health risks that associated with consuming too much junk food. if people have been educated through school and advertisements on TV about the dangers of eating high levels of sugar,salt and fat , they would have be likely to make a good decision by themselves. For instance, schools can educate children about nutrition and importance of consuming healthy food.
Additionally, Governments can do some acts like run awareness campaign to inform people about this issue.
On the other hand, some people argue that education alone is not enough to solve this problem. They believe that people are often aware of the risks associated  with consuming too much junk food but continue to do it  anyway. this is because junk food is often cheaper and more delicious than healthier choices. Therefore, only educating people about the risk factors is not sufficient in order to change the behaviour.
in conclusion, the issue of junk food consumption and its impact on health is crucial. While education is an important tool to tackle this problem, it is not enough. In my opinion a right approach that involves a combination of education and government action is necessary to reduce eating of unhealthy food and promote healthier eating habits.
Words: 273|Paragraphs: 1
Submitted: 7/19/2023, 11:55 AM
Coherence And Cohesion4.0
Lexical Resource4.0
Grammatical Range4.0
Task Achievement3.0
GRADED
4.0
Coherence and Cohesion:How well the essay is organized and how well ideas are connected throughout.4.0
Lexical Resource:The range of vocabulary used and how accurately and appropriately it is used.4.0
Grammatical Range:The range and accurate use of grammar structures.4.0
Task Achievement:How well the essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a fully developed response.3.0
Band Score:4.0
Coherence and Cohesion4
Logical structure4
Introduction & conclusion present4
Supported main points4
Accurate linking words4
Variety in linking words4
Lexical Resource4
Varied vocabulary4
Accurate spelling & word formation4
Grammatical Range4
Mix of complex & simple sentences4
Clear and correct grammar4
Task Achievement3
Complete response3
Clear & comprehensive ideas3
Relevant & specific examples3
Appropriate word count3