BAND 5.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: BALANCING ENVIRONMENTAL CONCERNS WITH ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT - PROS & CONS WITH EXAMPLES
Explore our comprehensive IELTS essay sample discussing the factors influencing a child's life. Delve deep into the debate between the influence of peers, media, and parents. Discover why parents may have the highest impact on a child's choices and behaviors. Ideal for IELTS band 5.5 score aspirants.
Writing Task
In today's world, many people argue that it is essential to address environmental issues, while others believe that the primary focus should be on economic development. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Provide relevant examples and evidence to support your response.
IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 3.5 Scoring and Feedback
It is commonly believed that teachers, peers, and media have a significant impact on a child's life. While some individuals argue that these factors play a more significant role in shaping a child's future, others contend that parents have a more critical influence. In this essay, I will discuss both perspectives and argue in favor of the latter.
On the one hand, children's beliefs and behaviors can be shaped by the books they read, the music they listen to, and the influence of their peers. Additionally, the media can impact children's desires and preferences, such as their desire for toys seen on television.
On the other hand, a child's personality is highly malleable at a young age, and parents are a constant presence in their life during this time. Furthermore, young children tend to imitate their parents' behavior, and a secure and supportive home environment is crucial for a child's confidence and emotional wellbeing. Parents also play a crucial role in teaching children about setting boundaries.
In my view, a child's choice of friends, books, and music is heavily influenced by the values instilled in them by their parents. Therefore, parents have a more significant influence on their children than the media, pop culture, or peer groups.
In conclusion, while external factors do impact a child's intellectual and social development, parents have the most significant influence by laying a strong foundation from a young age. Parents play a crucial role in fostering a secure and supportive home environment and instilling values that guide children's beliefs and behaviors.
Words: 257|Paragraphs: 5
Submitted: 7/20/2023, 01:46 AM
Coherence And Cohesion4.0
Lexical Resource4.0
Grammatical Range4.0
Task Achievement2.0
GRADED
3.5
Coherence and Cohesion:How well the essay is organized and how well ideas are connected throughout.4.0
Lexical Resource:The range of vocabulary used and how accurately and appropriately it is used.4.0
Grammatical Range:The range and accurate use of grammar structures.4.0
Task Achievement:How well the essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a fully developed response.2.0
Band Score:3.5
Coherence and Cohesion4
Logical structure4
Introduction & conclusion present4
Supported main points4
Accurate linking words4
Variety in linking words4
Lexical Resource4
Varied vocabulary4
Accurate spelling & word formation4
Grammatical Range4
Mix of complex & simple sentences4
Clear and correct grammar4
Task Achievement2
Complete response2
Clear & comprehensive ideas2
Relevant & specific examples2
Appropriate word count4