BAND 7.0 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: COMPARATIVE ANALYSIS OF 2015-2040 ENERGY CAPACITY PREDICTIONS

Explore our IELTS essay sample on global energy resources for a band 7.0 score. It analyzes and compares the usage of different energy sources in 2015 and predicts trends for 2040. Find out how fossil fuels, nuclear energy, wind, and solar energies are expected to evolve. A must-read for IELTS aspirants and energy enthusiasts.

Writing Task

The pie charts below compare the proportion of energy capacity in gigawatts (GW) in 2015 with the predictions for 2040.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 6.0 Scoring and Feedback

The pie charts above give an overview of the amount of various energy resources in 2015 in comparison to the anticipated capacity in 2040. The illustrations indicate that fossil fuels' proportion decreases by 20% from 64% to 44% but it still remains the main source of the energy throghout the globe. Furthermore, nuclear energy and other renewable resources tend to be restored less, whereas, the others, including wind and solar energies, are predicted to grow in the future. It is revealed from the diagrams that wind is going to be raised up to more than two times, from 5% in 2015 to 12% in 2040. Also, the energy gained from the sun is foreseen to increase remarkably from 2% to 18% by the year 2040. However, nuclear and other renewables are the two resources that are going to be reduced slightly from 6% to 5% and from 23% to 21% respectively.
Words: 151Paragraphs: 1
Submitted: 7/20/2023, 12:48 PM

Coherence And Cohesion6.0

The essay generally maintains coherence and cohesion, presenting information in a logical sequence with clear paragraphing. However, there are areas where improvements can be made to enhance clarity and flow.

Recommendations:

  • Use consistent referencing to the pie charts, such as 'the pie charts show' instead of 'the illustrations indicate,' to maintain clarity.
  • Avoid using informal expressions like 'going to be raised up to' and replace with more formal language, such as 'is expected to increase to.'
  • Use clear linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and ideas. For example, use 'In addition' instead of 'Furthermore' to introduce new points.
  • Ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic. Consider starting a new paragraph when discussing solar and wind energy to separate these from fossil fuels.

Lexical Resource6.0

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of energy resources, using terms like 'fossil fuels,' 'nuclear energy,' 'renewable resources,' and specific energy types such as 'wind' and 'solar.' However, there is some repetition and occasional inaccuracies in word choice that affect precision and clarity.

Recommendations:

  • Incorporate more varied adjectives and adverbs to enhance description, such as 'significantly' instead of 'remarkably.'
  • Expand vocabulary range by using synonyms or related terms to avoid repetition, such as 'energy sources' instead of repeating 'energy resources.'
  • Ensure accurate use of terms, for example, 'restored' should be replaced with 'increased' or 'expanded' when discussing energy capacity.

Grammatical Range6.0

The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and appropriate use of tenses. However, there are some minor grammatical errors and inconsistencies that need attention.

Recommendations:

  • Pay attention to spelling errors, such as 'throghout' which should be 'throughout.'
  • Use articles appropriately, e.g., 'the others' could be clearer as 'other sources.'
  • Ensure subject-verb agreement, e.g., 'wind is going to be raised' should be 'wind is going to rise.'
  • Use consistent tense forms, e.g., 'tend to be restored' should match the future context.

Task Achievement6.0

The essay provides a clear overview of the changes in energy capacity from 2015 to 2040, accurately highlighting key trends such as the decrease in fossil fuels and the increase in solar and wind energy. However, it lacks specific details about the total energy capacity in gigawatts for both years, which is crucial for a comprehensive summary.

Recommendations:

  • Ensure all relevant categories are clearly mentioned and compared to cover all aspects of the charts.
  • Include specific data on total energy capacity in gigawatts for 2015 and 2040 to provide a complete picture.
GRADED
6.0
Coherence and Cohesion:6.0
Lexical Resource:6.0
Grammatical Range:6.0
Task Achievement:6.0
Band Score:6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6
Logical structure6
Introduction & conclusion present6
Supported main points6
Accurate linking words6
Variety in linking words6
Lexical Resource6
Varied vocabulary6
Accurate spelling & word formation6
Grammatical Range6
Mix of complex & simple sentences6
Clear and correct grammar6
Task Achievement6
Complete response6
Clear & comprehensive ideas6
Relevant & specific examples6
Appropriate word count6
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