BAND 6.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: COMPARING ENERGY CAPACITY PROPORTIONS - 2015 VS PREDICTED 2040

Explore our IELTS Band 6.5 essay sample on energy capacity forecast. The essay presents a comparative analysis of gigawatts proportion in 2015 and 2040. Gain insights into the predicted rise of solar power and decline of fossil fuels. Perfect for IELTS preparation and study.

Writing Task

The pie charts below compare the proportion of energy capacity in gigawatts (GW) in 2015 with the predictions for 2040.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 6.0 Scoring and Feedback

The given pie charts compare the proportion of energy capacity in gigawatts in the year 2015 and the projection of it in the year 2040. The total amount of energy capacity is forecast to become almost double and rise from 6.6 GW in 2015 to 11.6 in 2040. Nuclear power, which shared only 6 % of the total in 2015, will remain almost the same at 5 %. Other renewables are anticipated to double in the year 2040 and reach 12 %. wind power shared 23 % in 2015 and is predicted to be unchanged in the year 2040. it only will fall 2 per cent. Overall, the most striking prediction is regarding fossil fuels which are predicted to decrease by 20 per cent and fall from 64v per cent in 2015 to 44 per cent in 2040. In contrast, solar is expected to rise drastically and reach from 2 per cent to 18 per cent.
Words: 156Paragraphs: 2
Submitted: 7/21/2023, 01:00 PM

Coherence And Cohesion6.0

The essay presents a clear comparison between the energy capacities of 2015 and 2040, maintaining a logical flow from introduction to conclusion. The main points are generally well-organized, with each paragraph focusing on different energy sources. However, there are some inconsistencies and minor errors that affect cohesion.

Recommendations:

  • Clarify comparisons and predictions to improve clarity. For example, explain the context of 'it only will fall 2 per cent' for better understanding.
  • Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, possibly by using transitional phrases like 'on the other hand' or 'in contrast' more effectively.
  • Ensure consistency in capitalization and punctuation. For example, 'wind power' should start with a capital letter at the beginning of a sentence.
  • Use more varied linking words to enhance cohesion. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'and,' consider alternatives like 'in addition,' 'furthermore,' or 'moreover.'

Lexical Resource6.0

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary related to energy sources and predictions. However, there are some repetitive phrases and minor inaccuracies that could be improved for a higher score.

Recommendations:

  • Incorporate more varied adjectives and adverbs to enhance descriptions, such as 'significantly' instead of 'drastically.'
  • Use a wider range of synonyms to avoid repetition, such as replacing 'shared' with 'accounted for' or 'constituted.'
  • Ensure accurate use of vocabulary, like correcting '64v per cent' to '64 percent.'
  • Use more precise language for changes, like 'increase' instead of 'rise' where applicable.

Grammatical Range6.0

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, including simple and complex sentences. However, there are areas where grammatical accuracy can be improved.

Recommendations:

  • Avoid minor typographical errors such as '64v per cent' which should be '64 per cent'.
  • Ensure consistent capitalization, particularly at the beginning of sentences. For example, 'wind power' should be 'Wind power'.
  • Improve subject-verb agreement and tense consistency. For instance, 'wind power shared' should be 'Wind power shares' to maintain consistency with the present tense used elsewhere.
  • Use more varied sentence structures to enhance grammatical range. Consider incorporating more complex sentences with conjunctions like 'although' or 'whereas' to compare data effectively.

Task Achievement6.0

The essay provides a general overview of the changes in energy capacity proportions between 2015 and 2040, highlighting key trends such as the doubling of total energy capacity and significant shifts in energy sources like fossil fuels and solar power. However, there are inaccuracies and omissions, such as the incorrect percentage for wind power and the lack of specific mention of 'other renewables' in 2015.

Recommendations:

  • Use more precise language to describe changes and predictions.
  • Include all relevant data, such as the percentage for 'other renewables' in 2015.
  • Provide a more balanced overview by discussing all energy sources equally.
  • Correct inaccuracies in the data, such as the percentage for wind power and fossil fuels.
GRADED
6.0
Coherence and Cohesion:6.0
Lexical Resource:6.0
Grammatical Range:6.0
Task Achievement:6.0
Band Score:6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6
Logical structure6
Introduction & conclusion present6
Supported main points6
Accurate linking words6
Variety in linking words6
Lexical Resource6
Varied vocabulary6
Accurate spelling & word formation6
Grammatical Range6
Mix of complex & simple sentences6
Clear and correct grammar6
Task Achievement6
Complete response6
Clear & comprehensive ideas6
Relevant & specific examples6
Appropriate word count6
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