BAND 5.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: ANNUAL EARNINGS COMPARISON OF CALGARY BAKERIES FROM 2000-2010
Explore our detailed analysis of a Band 5.5 IELTS essay sample. Dive deep into the yearly income trends of three Calgary bakeries (Amandine, Mary Bakeshop, and Bolo) from 2000 to 2010. Understand the financial dynamics and compare their revenue growth through our insightful breakdown.
Writing Task
The graph shows data about the annual earnings of three bakeries in Calgary, 2000-2010.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 5.5 Scoring and Feedback
The given line graphs provide information about yearly income of three bakeries (Amandine, Mary Bakeshop and Bolo) over a decade from 2000 to 2010 in Calgary. The earring data are represented in dollars.
Looking from an overall perspective, it can be concluded that the Bolo and Amandine witnessed an upward trend, whereas Mari sales followed an opposite trend over given period. It is also noticeable that, at the end of period, Amandine bakery made the highest money comparing with the two remaining ones.
Regarding Bolo bakery, which accounted for the the smallest portion at the beginning of the period with 20000 dollars.During the next three years, This figure went up despite some fluctuations and reached 4000 dollars. In other words, in 2003, the capital was twice as much as the corresponding figure of 20000. From 2003 to 2006, the line graph illustrated relatively stable before rising again and hit the point at 60000 box.
In terms of Mari shop, its graph begun at 8000 which was greater than the same figure for Amandine bakery by 2000. Moreover, the whole amount of yearly cash declined remarkably and plummeted at 40000 dollars except from 2001 and 2007 by approximately 15000 and 5000, respectively.
Considering Amandine income, there was an insignificant change over the five years before taking over Mari Bakeshop around 6000 at 2006. this continued to rise and peaked at over 10000 dollars.
Words: 232|Paragraphs: 5
Submitted: 7/21/2023, 11:55 AM
Coherence And Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range5.0
Task Achievement5.0
GRADED
5.5
Coherence and Cohesion:How well the essay is organized and how well ideas are connected throughout.6.0
Lexical Resource:The range of vocabulary used and how accurately and appropriately it is used.5.0
Grammatical Range:The range and accurate use of grammar structures.5.0
Task Achievement:How well the essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a fully developed response.5.0
Band Score:5.5
Coherence and Cohesion6
Logical structure6
Introduction & conclusion present6
Supported main points6
Accurate linking words6
Variety in linking words6
Lexical Resource5
Varied vocabulary5
Accurate spelling & word formation5
Grammatical Range5
Mix of complex & simple sentences5
Clear and correct grammar5
Task Achievement5
Complete response6
Clear & comprehensive ideas5
Relevant & specific examples5
Appropriate word count6