BAND 6.5 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: COMPARATIVE ENERGY CAPACITY ANALYSIS FOR 2015 AND PREDICTIONS FOR 2040

Explore our comprehensive IELTS essay sample based on band 6.5 score. Dive into detailed analysis of energy resource usage in gigawatts (GW) from 2015 with future predictions for 2040. Understand how fossil fuels, solar, and nuclear energy trends will change. Perfect resource for IELTS preparation!

Writing Task

The pie charts below compare the proportion of energy capacity in gigawatts (GW) in 2015 with the predictions for 2040.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 5.0 Scoring and Feedback

The pie charts bellow demonstrate the percentages of energy resources in gigawatts(GW) in 2015 ad its future image in 2040. In an overall view, we can notice that the fossil fuels will be consumed less than the previous years and other sources will develop and take part more proportion of energy use. Comparing two years, we can easily notice the total usage of energy will almost doubled from about 6000 in 2015 to about 12000 in 2014. There are predictions of 20% decrease in fossil fuel sector, which will be distributed to natural sources such as solar,nuclear. The most development is related to solar energy with about 6 times increase. The nuclear and other renewable sources with scant rise about 2% will have the least alterations among all. It seems that regardless of fundamental changes in the total proportions, the fossil fuels will stay at the top list of energy resources.
Words: 151Paragraphs: 4
Submitted: 7/21/2023, 05:30 AM

Coherence And Cohesion5.0

The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, overview, and detailed comparisons. However, there are issues with coherence and cohesion due to inconsistent use of linking words and some unclear transitions between ideas.

Recommendations:

  • Clarify ambiguous statements, such as 'fundamental changes in the total proportions', to enhance understanding.
  • Use more varied linking words to connect ideas smoothly, such as 'in contrast', 'similarly', and 'as a result'.
  • Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and flows logically to the next.

Lexical Resource5.0

The essay uses a range of vocabulary to describe changes in energy capacity, but there are some inaccuracies and repetitions. Terms like "fossil fuels," "solar energy," and "nuclear" are used correctly, but the expression "future image" is awkward. The phrase "scant rise" is effective, though the essay could benefit from more precise terminology, such as "significant increase" or "marginal decrease."

Recommendations:

  • Incorporate more synonyms to avoid repetition, such as 'utilization' for 'usage.'
  • Use more varied and precise vocabulary to describe changes, such as 'significant increase' or 'marginal decrease.'
  • Avoid awkward phrasing like 'future image'; instead, use 'future projections' or 'future predictions.'

Grammatical Range5.0

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures but has several errors that affect clarity. Simple and compound sentences are used, but complex structures are limited. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and article usage.

Recommendations:

  • Use complex sentence structures to show a wider grammatical range. For example, incorporate relative clauses or conditionals.
  • Improve article usage. For example, 'the most development' should be 'the most significant development.'
  • Correct subject-verb agreement errors, such as 'fossil fuels will be consumed less' should be 'fossil fuels will be consumed less than in previous years.'
  • Ensure verb tenses are consistent. For example, 'the total usage of energy will almost doubled' should be 'will almost double.'

Task Achievement5.0

The essay provides an overview of the changes in energy capacity from 2015 to 2040, highlighting a decrease in fossil fuel usage and an increase in solar energy. However, it lacks specific data and comparisons that are crucial for a complete task achievement.

Recommendations:

  • Ensure all predictions and changes are accurately described, such as the increase in solar energy from 2% to 18%.
  • Clearly state the increase in total energy capacity from 6,688 GW in 2015 to 11,678 GW in 2040.
  • Make more detailed comparisons between the different energy sources, such as the change in wind energy from 23% to 21%.
  • Include specific data from the charts, such as exact percentages for each energy source in both years.
GRADED
5.0
Coherence and Cohesion:5.0
Lexical Resource:5.0
Grammatical Range:5.0
Task Achievement:5.0
Band Score:5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5
Logical structure5
Introduction & conclusion present5
Supported main points5
Accurate linking words5
Variety in linking words5
Lexical Resource5
Varied vocabulary5
Accurate spelling & word formation5
Grammatical Range5
Mix of complex & simple sentences5
Clear and correct grammar5
Task Achievement5
Complete response5
Clear & comprehensive ideas5
Relevant & specific examples5
Appropriate word count5
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