BAND 5.0 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLE: ANALYSIS OF CANADIAN FOOD PREFERENCES AND INDIAN RESTAURANTS GROWTH 1960-2015

Explore our collection of IELTS essay samples with a Band 5.0 score. This piece discusses the popularity of Japanese, Indian, and Italian cuisines in Canada over time. Learn about Canada's food preferences, the growing demand for diverse flavors, and the rise of these restaurants from 1960 to 2015. Perfect for IELTS practice!

Writing Task

The charts below show the favorite takeaways of people in Canada and the number of Indian restaurants in Canada between 1960 and 2015.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

IELTS Writing Sample Essay with Band 4.0 Scoring and Feedback

As you see in the first chart , the Japanese restaurants are the most favorite restaurants in Canada and in the second place as you see it's Indian foods. We can say that the reason of this popularity of the Japanese foods is the most of them are sea foods and most peoples like sea foods. and another reason is that Japanese foods are so strange and people like to test them and they might like it because of being so healthy and organic. But about Indian foods , they are so spicy and when you eat them your tongue will be surprised because of the flavors. as you see because of the popularity of Indian foods and increasing of the applicants in Canada , the number of these restaurants increased between 1960 till 2015. and then in the third place are the Italian foods and they are popular too and that's because of pastas and pizzas. And in the next steps are the foods of other countries that they are so much popular too but not much as Japanese and Indians.
Words: 182Paragraphs: 1
Submitted: 7/24/2023, 12:22 PM

Coherence And Cohesion4.0

The essay attempts to organize information by discussing the popularity of different cuisines in Canada and the growth of Indian restaurants. However, the coherence and cohesion are hindered by a lack of clear structure, inconsistent use of linking words, and abrupt topic shifts.

Recommendations:

  • Use linking words and phrases more effectively to connect ideas and show relationships between them.
  • Ensure that comparisons between different types of cuisine are clearly stated and supported by data from the charts.
  • Avoid abrupt shifts in topics by maintaining a logical flow of ideas.
  • Organize the essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the data.

Lexical Resource4.0

The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary, but there are frequent errors in word choice and usage that affect clarity. Common words are often repeated, and there is a lack of precise and varied language.

Recommendations:

  • Expand vocabulary by learning synonyms and more precise words to avoid repetition and improve clarity.
  • Incorporate linking words and phrases to improve coherence and cohesion.
  • Avoid informal language and contractions to maintain an academic tone.
  • Use collocations and phrases correctly to enhance the natural flow of language.

Grammatical Range4.0

The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures with frequent errors that may impede understanding. There is a reliance on simple sentence structures, which affects the overall complexity and variety of the language used.

Recommendations:

  • Proofread for minor errors such as capitalization and punctuation to improve clarity.
  • Avoid run-on sentences by using appropriate punctuation and conjunctions.
  • Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and correct use of articles.
  • Use a wider variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences, to enhance grammatical range.

Task Achievement4.0

The essay attempts to address the task by discussing the popularity of different takeaways in Canada and the increase in Indian restaurants. However, it lacks clarity and precision in reporting the main features of the charts. The essay focuses more on personal opinions rather than summarizing the data accurately. For example, it mentions Japanese foods being popular due to being healthy and organic without any data support. Additionally, the essay doesn't clearly highlight the main trends or significant changes shown in the charts, such as the specific increase in Indian restaurants over the years.

Recommendations:

  • Include specific data points from the charts to support your summary, such as percentages or numerical increases.
  • Ensure that all relevant data from the charts are covered, such as the specific ranking of different takeaways.
  • Focus on accurately summarizing the main features of the charts without inserting personal opinions or assumptions.
  • Highlight key trends and compare relevant data points clearly, such as the growth in Indian restaurants from 1960 to 2015.
GRADED
4.0
Coherence and Cohesion:4.0
Lexical Resource:4.0
Grammatical Range:4.0
Task Achievement:4.0
Band Score:4.0
Coherence and Cohesion4
Logical structure4
Introduction & conclusion present4
Supported main points4
Accurate linking words4
Variety in linking words4
Lexical Resource4
Varied vocabulary4
Accurate spelling & word formation4
Grammatical Range4
Mix of complex & simple sentences4
Clear and correct grammar4
Task Achievement4
Complete response4
Clear & comprehensive ideas4
Relevant & specific examples4
Appropriate word count4
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